Take me as I am
by Jane L. Black
Summary: He saw who she was. He could see the raw, naked truth. Yes, he would take it.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own The 100 or any of its characters.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_Hi, it's me. Clarke. Clarke Griffin._ Chuckle._ Why am I doing this? Maybe I shouldn't have watched 13 Reasons Why. Damn you Netflix._ Silence._ I don't know why I introduced myself. You know me pretty well, even better than I know myself sometimes. _Pause._ I just want to give you a reason, because I know that you need it. I need you to know that all your hard work hasn't been in vain. I - _Sigh._ I tried Bell. I tried, really. I tried to do better. But I've seen what your life has become since I walked - scratch that - jumped into it. I can't keep doing that. _Sniffle. _I wish you nothing but the best and hope you find the happiness you deserve. I wonder if you'll ever be able to forgive me, but I think, even with a heart as kind as yours, it'll be hard. Just know that I'm in peace and I love you with all my heart and soul._

Clarke's words echoed in the almost empty room, the only other sound being the beeping from the machines that were plugged into the sleeping woman on the bed. Her skin was white as paper, with deep black marks under her eyes and her lips were pale, chapped. She was wearing a hospital gown, but it was obvious how thin she was under it. But what grabbed everyone's attention was the white bandages around her wrists.

Bellamy sighed turning off the recording and placed his phone on the armrest of his chair. He tried to figure out what went wrong. Where did he go wrong? He had loved her, treated her like a princess. He did his best to make her feel like she was loved and wanted, but, apparently, it wasn't enough. He felt like a failure. He wanted her to wake up, to tell him why and - And then what? Live happily ever after? She was right. He didn't know if he could forgive her. Not again.

He thought about every moment they had spent together and how happy she had looked. How could he miss the signs? Was he that blind? Clarke was a risk and knew that from the moment they met.

* * *

It was cold in Arkadia. The nights were still longer than the days, but you could see some green leaves trying to make an appearance in the Grey around them.

Bellamy was trying to worry home. He didn't live far from the high school where he gave History classes, but he usually took his car to avoid the fifteen-minute walk. And he was pretty sure his sister was going to kill him as she was already thirty minutes late for her date and had called him sixteen times, leaving a very angry voicemail in the last one.

As he was crossing the bridge that went over the river, something caught his attention. Someone was standing on the barrier. Due to the fog, Bellamy could not identify the person and took a step forward. He shook his head. It was not his business. He should just keep walking and get home before Octavia turned into a murderous beast. But, after two more steps, he came to a halt. He couldn't just leave. What if it was one of his students?

Sighing, Bellamy turned around and started to move carefully in the direction of the figure. As he got closer, he noticed the long blonde hair and the woman's curves. "Miss," he called, trying to hide the tremor in his voice, "is everything alright?"

The woman turned her head around, warning him, "Don't get any closer!"

"Okay. I won't. But you have to come down, please," Bellamy asked, stopping his movements.

"No. I'm jumping."

"No, no! Look, my name is Bellamy. What's your name?" he questioned, trying to grab her attention.

The woman hesitated and glanced back. "Clarke."

"Clarke. That is a beautiful name," Bellamy complimented, taking a small step in her direction, "Why don't you step down so we can talk?"

"I- I can't. You should leave" Clarke said in a weak voice.

"I can't do that. You see, now that our paths have crossed, I can't move forward without making sure you are safe. That being said, and quoting Jack Dawson from the Titanic movie, if you jump, I jump." Bellamy felt ridiculous talking about a stupid movie while a woman was threatening to kill herself, but whatever got her off that barrier and on firm ground. To his surprise, she started to slowly turn. "That's it. Give me your hand." He reached out and Clarke gripped his hand tightly.

Suddenly, she lost her balance and fell forward. Bellamy reacted quickly, taking a step and holding her in his arms. They took a second to catch their breath and she moved her head back. "Thank you" Clarke mumbled and he nodded, having lost his voice when faced with her blue orbs.

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asked.

"I'm not sure," she answered, "I- I should go." Clarke tried to get free from him and he panicked. What if she tried to kill herself again? She should go to a hospital, get herself checked out and maybe talk to someone more qualified. He wasn't joking when he quoted Jack Dawson. He couldn't go on with his life without knowing she was well.

"You shouldn't be alone right now," he said, noticing she wore a simple black blouse and was shaking, "I live right after the bridge. Why don't you come on over and we can talk? I'll make you some hot chocolate." Clarke hesitated. "I'm told I make an amazing hot chocolate. I'll even throw some marshmallows in."

Her eyes locked into his, searching for something. Trying to convince her that he wasn't a serial killer, Bellamy gave her a small smile and, to his surprise, she smiled back. "Who could say no to hot chocolate and marshmallows?"

* * *

The door opened and Bellamy raised his head. The doctor walked inside and gave him an encouraging smile.

"Mr. Blake? I'm Doctor Melendez."

"Hi! How is she?" he asked, getting up from the chair and shaking the doctor's hand.

"Well, she lost a lot of blood, but you found her just in time." Doctor Melendez explained, looking at Clarke's chart. "We'll keep her sedated for the night and tomorrow we'll check her mental condition."

"What does that mean?"

"Mr. Blake, Clarke has a very serious depression with suicidal tendencies. She needs professional help. We believe it was best if she stayed under our care for a while."

"You want to put her in a psychiatric ward?" He wasn't surprised. With Clarke's record, it was the more likely outcome.

"I've been told that you're her fiancée. Legally, you're not her husband and you can't make this decision for Clarke unless, she has no one else, as she is not well enough to think about her well-being."

"I- She -" He tried to think about a solution, but nothing came to his mind. He couldn't take her home and she couldn't stay alone. If he agreed to this, she would hate him, but if he didn't, she could have another episode and he couldn't be on time to save her. "Her mother is still alive, but they haven't talked in years. I don't even know her name or where she is." _Liar_.

Doctor Melendez nodded and scribbled something in his notes. "We'll try to contact her. In the meanwhile, I suggest you get some rest. Clarke will need you when she wakes up." He then left.

Bellamy let himself fall into the chair. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't leave her, but he wasn't sure for how long he could keep up with her destructive behavior. She had been so happy lately, planning the wedding and making arrangements for their new house. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't understand why she had done what she did. Bellamy didn't want to leave her, not now when she needed him the most. But he couldn't think only about himself.

Feeling completely lost, he placed his head on the bed and grabbed Clarke's hand, letting himself fall into a restless sleep.

* * *

**Hi guys,**

**I'm back! I hope you all enjoyed ADT finale. **

**This is my new fanfiction: **_Take me as I am_**. It's a Bellarke AU as you could notice. I still don't know how many chapters I'll write or how long it will take me. I hope to get it done before the start of the new - and final - season of the show. **

**I'll rate it M because, as always, it'll deal with subjects like suicide, rape, abuse, etc. But, due to**_ Leomae2.0_** inspiring speech, I'll try to make my debut on R rated scenes. Not making any promise, I might get shy, but I'll work on it.**

**I got**_ QueenOfHeartbreak_ **as my beta! YAY! She is great and you'll love her.**

**See you soon awesome nerds!**

**Love,**

_Jane_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_If your world falls_

_I will leave mine for you_

_I promise to listen to your fears_

_And I will keep memories and secrets_

As Bellamy unlocked the front door of his house, he began having second thoughts about inviting Clarke over. What if she was a serial killer? What if she was trying to kill herself because she couldn't control her murderous urges? He glanced at her, taking in her scared blue eyes and decided that this woman couldn't hurt a fly. Taking a leap of faith, he opened the door and invited her in. She walked inside the living room with uncertain steps and he finally had the chance to take in her appearance.

Her blonde hair was dirty and looked like it hadn't been brushed in a while; there were deep, black bags under her blue eyes, and she was thinner that he first had assessed. Her clothes weren't warm enough for the cold outside and had some holes in it. Her hands were shaking, and she looked like a scared animal that had been kicked too many times.

"Make yourself what home. I'm-" But he never managed to finish his sentence, because a roaring voice interrupted him.

"Bellamy Blake! I can't believe after all these years you are still trying to boycott my love life! I told you I- Oh!" Octavia Blake was definitely a hurricane with a serious case of mood swings. She had come from the hallway, ready to kill her brother, but stopped at the sight of the unknown woman standing in her brother's living room. "Hi. I don't think we've met before. I'm Octavia, Bellamy's..." She offered Clarke a hand, but the woman took a step back in Bellamy's direction, trying to hide her face from the newcomer. Octavia furrowed, before looking at her older brother. "Do you need my help?" Bellamy hesitated. He had thought about asking his sister to stay and help, hoping Clarke would feel more comfortable with another female, but seeing how she sought him out for security, he decided he could handle it.

"No, it's okay. We're alright."

Octavia nodded and took in Clarke's dirty appearance. "I think I have some clothes around here from the last I slept over. She can borrow them if she wants."

Bellamy thanked her with a look and his sister went to get her purse. "I should get going. Nice to meet you. I'll see you tomorrow." Octavia gave her brother a small peck on the cheek, before analyzing Clarke with a worried look one last time and leaving.

"Are you hungry?" He asked the question as he moved towards the kitchen. Clarke followed him, eyeing his movements very carefully. "Do you wanna - maybe - take a shower? Or just sleep for a little bit?" When she didn't answer, Bellamy scratched his neck nervously. "Or keep staring at me until I melt with embarrassment?" A ghost of a smile appeared in her face and he almost breathed out in relief. For moment, all his fears that she was a closeted serial killer had come back.

"A shower would be nice," Clarke finally said.

"Great! Just wait here a moment." He disappeared into the hallway and came back a few moments later, holding a bundle of clothes. "Their Octavia's. The bathroom is the first door on the right."

"Thank you," she whispered, before taking the clothes from his hands and walking out of the kitchen.

Bellamy decided that he should start preparing something for them to eat. He turned on the stove and took the chocolate out of the cupboard. He also fetched the bread from the lower cabinet and the butter from the fridge, plugging in the toaster. He was finishing set the table, when Clarke came back.

"Hey." She called and he turned, taking in her clean appearance. Her hair fell in low, thick curls, down her back, and her skin was pale, but her cheeks were red, probably from the hot water. But what really caught her attention was how her body looked in Octavia's clothes.

His sister had always had a lean body, fitting perfectly into any kind of outfit. She used to complain how her chest was too small and her hips to narrow, but he just couldn't see it. She looked perfect to him. However, looking at this strange woman, he finally understood what she was talking about.

The yoga pants outlined her strong tights and wide hips almost to perfection. As did the t-shirt do to her large breasts.

"Thank you," Clarke mumbled, playing with the hem of the shirt and taking Bellamy's attention away from her chest, "For everything."

He nodded, not trusting his voice yet and pointed to the table. "I made some toasts to go with the hot chocolate. I don't -"

"It's perfect," Clarke said, sitting at one of the chairs. Bellamy followed her and they just sat in silence, too awkward to look at each other.

"We should eat before it gets cold." He said after a while. "So, why were you on that bridge?" Bellamy tried to be nonchalant, though he wasn't particularly successful. Clarke stopped with her mouth opened and the toast mid-air.

"I- um-" She trailed off, not sure what to say. Feeling how uneasy she was answering his question, Bellamy decided to change the subject.

"How long have you've been on the street?"

Clarke bit down her bottom lip, looking around for an escape route, and Bellamy took the chance to take a deep breath. Was he really feeling attracted to this unknown woman? He had met her not an hour ago and she was already throwing his control out of the window.

Shaking such thoughts away, he grabbed her attention. "Look Clarke, I know you must be scared. I'm stranger and you're..." Bellamy tried to find the right word. "... Fragile. But I need something to work with. If you want my help, you need to trust me a little bit."

"Do you? Trust me, I mean," she asked suddenly. "I mean, what if I'm a serial killer? Or if I' m here to rob you?"

"Are you?" Clarke stared at him, confused. "Here to kill or rob me?"

"No!"

"Okay. I believe you," he declared taking a sip of his hot chocolate. She blinked, not quite believing him, but eventually sighed.

"A week. I caught the first bus out of New York but was robbed at a gas station and lost everything. I've been hitchhiking or walking ever since." Clarke confessed.

"Why Arkadia?"

Clarke shrugged. "My father grew up here and I always wanted to visit. I thought it would make things better."

"Did it?" Bellamy silently wondered if he ever knew her father. He analyzed her face looking similarities, but no one popped into his mind.

"I'm not sure. I arrived a couple hours ago." A silence fell between them while they ate and drank the hot chocolate. "What about you? Are you from Arkadia?"

He was surprised with her curiosity but found no reasons to not answer her. "Born and raised."

"That's amazing. I wish I had a place like this to call home." Clarke sighed taking a bite from her last toast. "Who was that girl? The one the funny name."

Bellamy smiled. If Octavia ever found out what Clarke had said, she would throw a fit and probably kill him as he was the one who picked her name. "Octavia is my sister."

"I wasn't very polite to her. I'm sorry," Clarke apologized.

"Oh, it's no problem. She can handle it like a big girl."

A small smile appeared on Clarke's face. "Does she live here?"

Bellamy shook his head. "She lives with our mother at the end of the street."

"Oh. That's nice." He gave her a small smile, before they fell into another awkward silence. Bellamy was the first one to break, clearing his throat.

"You can sleep in my bedroom tonight."

"I don't want to kick you out of your own bed and I've already abused your hospitality. I should get going." Clarke said, starting to get up.

Bellamy's brow furrowed. "Do you have a place to stay?"

"I-"

"You'll stay here. I'll sleep in the other room," he said, getting up and starting to place the dishes in the sink, "Just a little warning, we're early risers around here." Clarke hesitated for a second, her body still half turned to the exited. Bellamy decided he shouldn't make a big deal out of it, so he rinsed the plates and mugs, ignoring her stare.

"Why are you helping me?" Her voice came out in a whisper, sounding broken and scared.

He turned, wiping his hands on a cloth. "What will be of the world if we stop helping each other? You'll stay here tonight and tomorrow we'll figure it out."

* * *

Bellamy was placing the warm pancakes in plates, when Clarke finally emerged from his room. He didn't notice her presence until he turned and saw her standing near the door, jumping with fright.

"Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack! Are you always this silent?" He just barely managed to stop their breakfast from slipping off the plates, still feeling his heart beat rapidly in his chest,

She winced. "I'm sorry."

Feeling guilty about the way he lashed out, Bellamy grinned at her. "No problem. Did you sleep okay?"

"Actually, it was the first time in a few years that I had a good night sleep," Clarke answered with a smile. He opened his mouth to ask if she was hungry, when a voice interrupted him.

"DAD! Have you seen- Oh!" Madi had come out running from her room, stopping when she met the strange woman in her kitchen.

"Hi," Clarke breathed out, moving her eyes from the child to Bellamy. Madi also looked at her father looking for an explanation.

"Clarke, this is my daughter, Madi. Madi, this is Clarke." His daughter beamed at Clarke.

"Nice to meet you, Clarke. Are you a friend of my dad?"

It took her a while, but Clarke eventually smiled back at the young girl. "I'd like to think so."

"Great!" Bellamy analyzed the interaction with curiosity. Madi was never this friendly to strangers. It took her almost a year to warm up to Raven and she didn't utter a word in kindergarten for almost three weeks. "Daddy, you made pancakes!" She exclaimed, running to the table. Clarke gave him a questionably look and he motioned to a chair next to his daughter.

"Easy there, champ! You don't want to throw up in the middle of the field," Bellamy warned, as he sat down. Madi, who was shoving pancakes into her mouth, stopped and looked at her father. She then swallowed the piece that she had been chewing and turned to Clarke.

"Are you married?" Bellamy chocked on his coffee - MADI! -, but the child was unfazed by her father's scolding and kept her big blue eyes locked on Clarke, who let out a giggle.

"No, I'm not." Madi grinned like Clarke had just told her that she had won a million dollars.

"Neither is daddy."

"Madi," Bellamy cried again, "You're making Clarke uncomfortable!"

She turned back to the woman. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"Of course not."

"See, dad? You're _overracting_."

Clarke muffled a laugh. "It's overreacting, sweetie," Bellamy explained, not hiding his smile.

"Whatever. You're doing it." Madi grabbed her glass and drank the last of her orange juice. "Can you braid my hair?" She asked bluntly to Clarke, who took a glance to Bellamy. He seemed to hesitate for a second, before nodding.

"Sure." Madi jumped off her chair and grabbed Clarke's hand, pulling her towards her room.

Bellamy watched them leave and sighed. What was he doing? What kind of father was he, inviting a stranger into his home, with his daughter? He had done some messed up things, but this was the worst. He was actually ignoring his daughter's safety. But there was something about Clarke that he couldn't shake off. Taking aside the fact that he actually caught her trying to jump off to her death, she had this shadow in her eyes and there was more to her story that she was letting on. She didn't look like a threat, come on she could barely reach his chest, but what if someone dangerous was after her? She did look scared, like a puppy that had been kicked.

A key turning in the front door pulled Bellamy from his thoughts.

"Good morning," Octavia greeted, "I brought what you asked." She showed him the bag, before placing it on a chair. "I guess she's still here." Her tone was judgmental, but Bellamy could also hear the curiosity in it.

"She has nowhere to go, O." He knew it was a weak excuse.

"You can do better than that, Bell." Octavia argued, snatching a cup of coffee for her. "Where did you meet her anyway?"

Bellamy adverted his eyes. "On the bridge." His sister's smile disappeared, and she locked her olive orbs on his face, searching for something. "She was going to jump."

Octavia sighed, putting her mug down. "She is not Gina, Bell."

He pressed his lips together. "I know she is not Gina."

"Then why did you bring her here?"

He got up and threw his hands in the air. "I don't know! I just- I couldn't leave her there. I-" Bellamy shook his head and placed his hands on the sink, his back to Octavia. "I made that mistake once. I'm not going to do it again."

Octavia rolled her eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It wasn't your fault, Bell. You know that."

He sighed. "I know. I just keep wondering..." His sister forced him to turn and looked him in the eyes.

"Stop that. You shouldn't-" Bellamy knew what she was about to tell him. The speech had been the same for the last five years. He was aware Octavia meant well, but sometimes he just wished she would leave him alone to mope.

"Daddy, look!" Madi came running into the kitchen, followed by Clarke, her hair combed into two braids and huge grin on her face. "I look so cool!" She twirled around, waiting for the compliments.

"Really cool." Bellamy agreed.

"You're going to be the coolest girl on the field today," Octavia exclaimed, clapping her hands.

"Good morning, auntie O," Madi greeted, hugging the woman by the waist. "Have you met Clarke? She is daddy's friend and is really nice." Octavia looked at the blonde woman by the door, who adverted her eyes.

"Yeah. We've met." She turned back to her niece. "Why don't you go change? We need to leave soon." Madi nodded before running back to her room and an awkward silence fell between the three adults. Octavia was the first one to break it. "I brought you some clothes. They might be small on you, but they'll fit."

"You didn't have bother. I was so rude to you last night." Octavia exchanged a quick glance with her brother and waved her away.

"It's okay. People are often rude to me. I intimidate them." Clarke couldn't hold back a chuckle. "I'm Octavia."

"Clarke. It's nice to properly meet you." They shook hands and Maddy, who had gotten back fairly quick, beamed at them, as if it was really important to the little girl to have her aunt like her new friend.

"Are you ready, Maddy? Auntie O is here to take you to the game. I'll go get grandma and meet you there." Bellamy asked, filling up Maddy's water bottle.

"Yes, daddy." She then turned to Clarke. "Will you be there?"

Clarke hesitated. Bellamy could see the doubt in her eyes and the conflict going on her head. Her blue eyes fixed briefly on his, and before he could give her the security she needed, Clarke smiled at Madi. "Sorry honey, but I have a bus to catch." His daughter was visibly disappointed. "Maybe for the next game?"

Maddy made an effort to smile and Bellamy could see past his daughter's facade. But abandonment was something the child was used to and knew how to handle the situation quite well. "Yeah, sure. Come on, Aunt O!" Octavia looked at her niece with a furrowed brow but avoided any comment by nodding her head. "Goodbye Clarke," said Madi, waving her small hand and pulling her aunt to the door. Octavia gave a brief nod and disappeared.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry," Clarke said, putting a hand to her face and sitting down in the next available chair. "I didn't mean to be rude to Madi. She is so sweet and... I'm so sorry, Bellamy." She started crying, making him panic. He didn't handle tears very well, except for his daughter's, but even those made him feel useless.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm pretty sure she'll get over it."

"She just looked so..."

"Passive?" He offered when Clarke struggled to find the right word.

"Yeah." Bellamy shrugged.

"Madi is used to people leaving." That grabbed her attention, stopping the hiccups and the flow of tears. She stared at him dumbfounded. Bellamy sighed and sat next to Clarke. "Gina, Madi's mom, died when she was two. Her parents left town a couple years later and never tried to get back in touch with their granddaughter."

"Oh." That was the only thing Clarke said, trying to understand his words. "Can I ask-"

"No." He interrupted. He was not ready to talk about it. He would never be ready to talk about it.

_Five years ago_

_"GINA! GINA!" Where the hell was she? He kept walking through the woods aware that Ken, Gina's younger brother, and Anthony, Gina's father, were trailing behind him._

_His girlfriend has been missing for almost a week. At first, they didn't make much of it. Gina used to disappear for weeks when she was younger. She would always go back. But this time was different. This time she left their two-year-old daughter crying in her room, completely alone, until Bellamy came back from classes. He had picked up Madi up, fed her, changed her dirty diaper, before finally calling his in-laws, who had no idea where their daughter was._

_"This is useless. Why would she even be in the woods? She hates it," Ken complained, looking around for his sister._

_"Because the car was found a couple miles from here. Where else could have she gone on foot?" Anthony looked crossly at his son._

_"She could have just hitchhiked. It wouldn't be the first time."_

_"The tank was full, and the car was working. Why-?"_

_"We should split up," Bellamy suggested interrupting their argument. He couldn't handle Ken's questions, because they had been on his mind since he first understood that Gina was missing._

_"What?"_

_"I know this area well and I'm used to being in the woods. I'll cover more area on my own. You guys can keep walking along the river, and we'll meet back in an hour by the road." He could see that Anthony was ready to argue with him, like he always had since Gina introduced both of them, but Ken tugged his arm and they started walking._

_Bellamy let out a shaky breath of relief. At least know he could concentrate in finding his girlfriend. He started to walk through the well-known paths between the trees, looking around for any sign of Gina, while trying to understand what was really going on._

_On the first day of high school, Bellamy was immediately mesmerized by her copper curls, warm brown eyes and sweet smile. Miller, his best friend, had warned him about how Gina Martin was unreachable. She was very popular, leader of the cheerleaders and dating the football captain. How could an idiot nerd like him have a chance with her?_

_When he turned sixteen everything changed. He became taller and, due to the karate classes he took with Miller, he also became more fit. After an internal struggle, he decided to stop using hair gel and let his curls fall free on his forehead. As a birthday present, his mother allowed him to start using contact lenses, leaving his thick glasses on the drawer only for emergencies. That was when Gina first noticed him. They began talking, going on dates and soon she became his girlfriend._

_After high school, Bellamy went to college to take his degree in history and they broke up, before getting back together. Again. And again. And again. Until Gina announced she was pregnant with his baby. To his luck, Mr. Lewis had retired, and Principal Sanders was more than happy to offer him a teaching position._

_Madi was born on December 8, 2013. It was snowing and the labor had been difficult for Gina, but he with his child on his arms and looking at his sleepy girlfriend, he felt his life was complete at only 23 years old. It felt like a dream, but it was very real._

_Motherhood was hard on Gina, but he tried his best to help her and eventually, she fell into a cheerful routine. She had even got a part-time job at the local bakery and enrolled in Mommy and Me classes at the gym. That why he couldn't understand why she would just leave._

_He kept walking around, looking for any signs of her, when a piercing scream pulled him from his thoughts. His heart stopped, but his mind kept running as fast as feet as he ran between the trees towards the sound._

_As he reached Anthony and Ken, it's first emotion was shock. Gina's body was hanging above the floor, clearing showing signs of its exposure to the elements. She was wearing a yellow dress - her favorite summer dress - and white sneakers. He wondered why she decided to choose that outfit, as it had been cold and raining for weeks. His eyes took in the noose around her neck and he felt sick._

_Ken was already puking on a nearby tree, while Anthony was on his knees, staring at his deceased daughter and screaming her name to no avail, the tears running down his face._

_Still numb, Bellamy pulled out his phone and called Miller, who was now a policeman, to inform him they had found Gina._

_"How is she? I'm calling in an ambulance," his friend asked in a worried tone._

_He weighed his answer, before replying in a defeated voice. "Dead." That's when the anger settled in._

_Gina was dead. Gone. She had left him with the full responsibility of raising a child on his own and a broken heart. He thought about the ring that was hiding in his bag and felt ridiculous. There he was, planning to propose and marry her, while she was thinking about leaving him. But what hurt him the most was how she had taken her life without thinking about Madi and the way she was growing up with the knowledge that she wasn't enough for her mother to fight her demons._

_"There's a letter," Ken said, pointing weakly to her hand._

_"Leave it," Bellamy ordered, making the young man stare at him, "The police has to process the scene. We can't touch anything."_

_"How are you so calm? My sister, your girlfriend, is dead!"_

_A million replies came to his head, but he chose to ignore them, turning his back and walking towards the road to signal the police, whose sirens could be heard in the distance._

Back in the present, Bellamy shook these thoughts away and smiled at Clarke. "Can I give you a lift anywhere?" She hesitated, placing her bottom lip between her teeth and he had to look away.

What was wrong with him? He had just met this woman! How could he be so attracted to her? He hadn't felt so interested in a woman since Gina died and it wasn't okay with him. Having a relationship would bring a lot of complications he wasn't ready to deal with yet.

"I wouldn't mind a ride to the bus station." Clarke finally said, looking down at her hands.

They left the house about half hour later and he drove across Arkadia as she watched the buildings in amazement. As they reached their destination, she finally pulled her eyes from the window to her lap and sighed. "This a beautiful town. Now I know why my father loved it here."

Bellamy smiled. "You're welcome back at any time." She gave him a small smile.

"Thank you, Bellamy. For everything. Will you give a kiss to Madi for me?" He nodded and she opened the car door. He watched her leave and walking to the ticket office. She had asked him if he could borrow her a couple dollars for the bus ticket, before they left his house, apologizing for abusing of his kindness.

He wondered what her story was. Besides the fact that her father was from Arkadia, she had had come from New York and, apparently, was suicidal. For the millionth time since yesterday he doubted his decision of not taking her to a nearby hospital. What if she did something stupid on her way back home? What if she decided to not go back and started to live in the streets?

Panicking, he almost jumped out of the car to bring her back, but a call on his phone from his mother stopped him. giving a last look to Clarke, Bellamy finally drove away.

* * *

"Daddy, look! It's Clarke!"

They were going home, back from lunch, when Madi asked him if they could ride around town for a while. It was something they used to do when she was younger and became their weekly tradition. On Saturdays, after her games, they would have lunch with Octavia and Aurora, before taking a drive around town and going home. If the weather was nice, they would walk to the town center and play in park.

But on that day was raining a lot and Bellamy was ready to head back, when his daughter called his attention to the lone figure sitting on the bench. Her blonde hair was completely wet and so were her clothes, but she didn't seem to notice.

For second, he decided to ignore her and go home. She had broken his daughter's heart to miss the bus? However, her blue, hurt and lost eyes came to his mind and pressed the brakes.

"Stay here." He ordered Madi, before getting out of the car. The rain was so heavy that he immediately got drenched and his hair glued to his forehead. Clarke looked up to him.

"I couldn't get in." That was all she offered. The angry monster in his chest became quiet and he sighed.

"Maybe you should stay here for a while." He suggested, shrugging.

She shook her head. "I don't have any money, or clothes or a job... I don't have anything."

"Well, you have a roof over your head." Clarke locked her blue orbs on his.

"Why are you helping me so much?"

"I don't know. Octavia says I have a hero complex." He could feel the cold water on his skin and wondered how long it would take for them to get sick. "Wanna discuss it over a cup of hot chocolate?" Clarke kept staring into his eyes, trying to figure out his intentions. Why was he being so kind to a stranger? Why did he keep crossing her path? "We have about thirty seconds before Madi gets out of the car. If she gets sick, you're babysitting her."

She let out a shaky laugh, looking over his shoulder to the girl who waved at her. "Okay."

They walked together side by side to the car and, as soon as they got in, Madi almost jumped to the front seat, hugging Clarke. "I'm so glad you're staying! You're staying, right?"

Clarke exchanged a worried glance with Bellamy, who gave her a small nod. "If you want too..."

"Oh! It's so cool! We can have a sleepover party! We'll invite Aunty O and Grandma!"

"Hey, what about me?"

"You can't have a sleepover with us, daddy! You're not a woman!" Shaking his head at Madi's plans to create the perfect "woman's sleepover", Bellamy started the car and drove them back home.

* * *

**Hello my darlings,**

**I'm back! I'm sorry it took my so long to post the new chapter, but Queenie and I have been swamped with work.**

**Anyway, I hope you like this chapter.**

**I'm thinking about making this a shorter story than ADT, but I don't really have a final plan. I was hoping to have it finished before the new season comes along.**

**Love you awesome nerds,**

_Jane_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Take me as i am _

_Just as i am _

_I won't even ask you for more _

_Even if you go _

Bellamy watched as Clarke and Madi laughed in the living room. They were watching Frozen while he sat in the kitchen grading some papers, but their singing didn't let him focus on work.

It had been a week since Clarke came to stay with them and things had been... great.

On Sunday, she had kept mostly to herself, quietly answering to his daughter's questions and sitting on the couch. When she retired to bed early, he wondered if it had been a bad idea to invite her to stay over. He didn't want her to mope around Madi and bring the girl's spirit down. However, Monday morning, he woke up to find both on the kitchen, happily having breakfast and Madi already dressed for school.

"'Morning, daddy! Clarke made pancakes on a school day!" The child greeted him with a big smile on her face. He scratched his head, still half a sleep.

"I'm sorry. I didn't even ask you if it was okay. I just woke up and wanted to do something nice for you guys," Clarke apologized, signaling the third plate on the table. He took his seat and served himself some coffee. "I also made a lunch bag for both of you. It's just chicken with rice and some side salad. You didn't have much in the fridge, so I had to improvise."

"I- You didn't have to do any of this," he finally told her.

"I know, but I wanted too." She smiled and he couldn't back a smile of his own.

At the end of the day, he picked Madi from school and went shopping. He had checked the pantry and fridge before he left for work and noticed how empty they were.

"I love having Clarke with us," his daughter said. She was inside the shopping cart, organizing the products he handed her with a big grin on her face.

"That's great sweetie."

"It's like having a mummy." That made him stop. He had never thought about how Madi - whose mother had been gone most of her life - would see Clarke living with them. For him, it was just kindness for someone in need, but to her it meant something else.

However, he didn't know Clarke. He didn't know what she was running from, or who, and for how long she was planning on staying. If Madi started seeing her in a motherly way, it would lead to heartbreak whenever the woman left, and he couldn't do that to his daughter. He wasn't sure he was ready to kick Clarke out, but he also didn't want to see his child suffer.

Deciding he should be honest with Madi, he sighed and turned to her. "Look, princess, Clarke... She needs help."

Her big blue eyes widened in surprise. "Can I help?"

"Well, you can by being her friend." Madi furrowed her brows.

"I am her friend."

"I know, it's just-" How could he explain the situation to her? How could he make her understand that Clarke could very well decide to leave? "We don't know how long Clarke will stay with us and I don't want you to think that she'll stay forever."

"Oh." Madi visibly deflated. "I want her to stay forever."

He bent forward, grabbing Madi and pulling her to his arms. "I know sweetie but is not our choice. Okay?" Madi nodded, hiding her face in his neck and sniffling.

When he drove home, he watched his daughter's sad expression trough the rearview mirror. Why Madi had gotten so close to Clarke - a virtual stranger - he could never understand. His daughter had always been an introvert since a very young age, always struggling to make friends and fit in. When she went to first grade, she cried for almost a week after finding out she was the only one who hadn't been invited to Gaia's birthday party. Bellamy had wished to let the subject drop, but Aurora had gone and talked to Indra, Gaia's mother, who had deeply apologized as she hadn't known that Madi was in the class. That's when they found out that Madi had never made any friends in school or talked in class. The teacher Mrs. Rodriguez had explained that she was hoping to bring Madi out of her shell before calling Bellamy to school, but the incident had brought out the problem. Fortunately, Indra decided to invite Madi over for a sleepover and the girls immediately became best friends.

Bellamy almost cried when he got there to pick up his daughter and saw her play hide and seek with Gaia.

Maybe Madi missed her mother than she showed. Aurora and Octavia tried to fill that role as much as they could: going to school activities, having girl's day with her, accepting her Mother's Day gifts with extra energy. However, Madi was getting older and had started to notice that something was missing. Miller was probably right, and it was time for him to start dating again.

However, dating meant he had to find out someone he liked and that Madi also liked. What if he fell in love and his daughter hated the woman? And he had never had as much interest in a woman as he had in Clarke. His body just reacted almost like a savage when she was nearby. It was ridiculous how attracted he was to this stranger. Almost as strange as his daughter already claiming her as her mother.

"Hey, you're back," Clarke said as they walked the front door.

"Clarke! You're still here!" Madi shouted happily, running to her arms. Clarke gave him a strange look but hugged the girl back.

"Of course I am. Where else would I be?"

Before Madi decided to reveal their conversation at the grocery store, Bellamy decided to interrupt. "Madi, why don't you go take your bath? I'll be there in a minute to wash your hair."

"Will you help me with my homework?" His daughter asked Clarke, who nodded before the child ran back to her room. Clarke then looked at Bellamy looking for answer, who decided his living room was more interesting than the woman was front of him.

"You cleaned up." He said, noticing how Madi's toys were gone from the floor and the floor was swept. God, had he become such a slob that a clean floor sounded strange to him? Clarke smiled.

"Yeah. I didn't know what to with myself after you left, so I decided to help out a bit. I also cleaned up Madi's room and changed the sheets on both beds. I was going to do the laundry, but I didn't know if..." She noticed the expression on his face. "Was I out of line? I'm sorry, Bellamy. I didn't mean to-"

"Madi says having you were it's like having a mother," he blurted out.

"Oh." That's the only thing she said. They stood in front of each other in an awkward silence, the only sound being the running water in the bathroom. "I can leave if you want me to. I mean, if it is best for Madi."

He sighed. "I don't I want you to leave. I want..." What did he want? Well, for starters, he wanted to take her the bedroom and take off those stupid yoga pants. Seriously, what was wrong with some baggy sweatpants to walk around the house? Shaking those thoughts away, he pressed his lips together. "I want you to promise that you won't leave without saying goodbye. Madi deserves that."

"I promisem" Clarke said. She hesitated, before reaching for his hand. "I'm not going anywhere, Bellamy. Here, with you guys, I feel something I haven't felt in a long time." He took his eyes from their connected hands and tried to ignore the shivers her soft skin gave him. "Peace."

"Clarke, I-"

"DADDY!" Madi's voice burst the bubble they were in and brought them back to reality. Clarke looked to the floor, her cheeks tainted red, and Bellamy scratched the back of her head, clearing his throat.

"I should go help her."

"Yeah. I'm going to put away the groceries and start dinner." He nodded, walking to the bathroom, but took a moment before going inside, trying to calm himself. What the hell was that woman doing to him?

The rest of the week went by in the same routine. Clarke would wake early, made them breakfast and their lunch bags, before getting Madi ready for school. Then, she would spend the day cleaning, or baking, or reading one of his hundreds of books. At the end of the day, he and his daughter would get back home where Clarke would help Madi with her homework while he started dinner. After Madi had gone to bed, they would stay in the living room, talking or watching TV.

Clarke avoided sharing personal information like where she lived or her last name but had told him how her father had died when she was eleven and her mother had remarried the next year to his best friend. He had also found out that she had a degree in art but was teaching at an elementary school the last couple years, despite her mother's desire to have her become a doctor. She loved donuts and mint tea, hated to workout but was a pilates lover; her favorite color was green and always wanted to have a dog.

In return, he told her how her father had left when he was two and Octavia was only his half-sister, whose father had died from cancer when she was ten. His life revolved around his daughter, but he tried to find time for his friends from time to time. She had asked him what his favorite color and he had blurted out blue, like Madi's eyes. Clarke had smiled and stated how her eyes where the same color as his daughter's, making him blush and retire for the night.

However, most of the time, their conversations revolved around their favorite books, movies and songs, trying to keep some distance from more personal subjects. Time from time, he wondered if she felt the same as him. Bellamy was obviously attracted to her, avoiding touching or staring at her, what proved hard because she kept wearing Octavia's clothes, which were too small for her. He had been tempted to suggest they would go shopping so she could have more fitting clothes but knew it would sound strange.

On Friday, he was grateful to get a text from Miller asking if wanted to meet for lunch. He needed to talk to his best friend about Clarke and get all of the doubts out of his chest. That's why he was a little annoyed when he saw Murphy on the front seat of the squad car. It's not that he didn't like Raven's husband, but there was still too much unfinished business from the past between them.

"Hey man. Garcia's diner?" Miller asked as soon as he got in the car.

"Nah, I brought lunch." Both of the police officers turned back in surprise. They usually brought lunch from home but Bellamy, who was always running around and short on time, would have Miller drive him to Garcia's diner where he would buy a couple sandwiches.

"You brought lunch? Like, from home?" Bellamy nodded, trying to hide the redness in his cheeks.

"His guest must have done it," Murphy said, taking a bite of his chicken salad.

"Shut up, Murphy."

"Wait, what guest?" Miller asked, turning around. Bellamy hesitated, looking between the two men. He really wasn't comfortable about sharing in front of Murphy.

They had gone to school together ever since they were children and Murphy had always been the class bully. He would hit, bite, scratch and destroy. As they got older, that behavior didn't disappear, only escalated. He went to stealing other student's money, locking them on janitor closets and putting their heads in the toilets. He started smoking, drinking and dealing drugs. As soon as Murphy walked into a room, people would pray to not be the target of the day.

On their senior year, he fell deeply and hard for Raven, the cool new girl who held her head high whenever he tried to harass her. After a while, she fell for him too. They dated until graduation, when she decided to end things because she was tired of his childish behavior. The breakup sent him on rampage that only stopped after he ended up in police station. That's when his father gave him an ultimatum: get his life together or get out of his house. Murphy chose the first one and quickly decided he wanted to be a police officer.

Bellamy thought he was going to die with laughter when he first heard about it.

"Octavia told Raven who told me that Bellamy has a _female_ guest at his house." _WHAT THE HELL?_ "He saved her on the bridge last week, she tried to leave, but decided to stay. They've been playing house since then."

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Bell?" Miller looked at him, confused. "Is this true?"

"Yes. I mean, I did save her, and she thought about leaving. And yes, she has been staying at my place, but we have not been playing house!"

Murphy quirked his eyebrow. "Did she did make you lunch?" Bellamy didn't have to answer to them to know it was true. Between Madi and his job, he rarely found time to cook. He would send his daughter to school with some money so she could buy her lunch, being one of the few parents who did it.

"Dude, who the hell is this girl?"

"I don't know," he confessed, running a hand through his hair. "She just showed out of nowhere and doesn't have a place to go, so I invited her to stay over. Madi loves her and she is nice. She cooks, cleans, makes me laugh and is always wearing tight yoga pants around the house, driving me nuts! I feel like I'm going to explode!"

Miller and Murphy shared a look, before bursting into laughs. He huffed and crossed his arms, trying to ignore them both.

"I'm sorry, Bellamy. It's just is so _you_! You save a girl, welcome her into you place and know you can't get her out of your mind. Your hero complex will be the death of you," Miller barked between laughs.

"What does Aurora think about her," Murphy asked and opened up in a grin when Bellamy refused to answer, "You haven't introduced them? Oh, Mrs. Blake is going to lose it!" And the duo started laughing again.

"Idiots," Bellamy muttered under his breath.

Miller was the first one to recover and turned to his friend with a sympathetic smile. "Look man. You haven't been with anyone since Gina. It's been five years. Maybe you should give it chance."

"A chance to what? I don't even know her!"

"I know we haven't been in the best terms since forever..." Murphy started and Bellamy rolled his eyes. "But Raven and Octavia are at my place gossiping all the time, so I feel like I know you a little." _Damn you, O!_ "What happened with Gina was awful and you have to think about Madi too - I have kids, I know how it works. -, but maybe you should take a break from all that pain and self-inflicted celibacy. Just give the girl a chance. Take her out to dinner, just the two of you, and try to understand if there is something there."

To surprise, Murphy's suggestion made sense. Despite their late-night conversations, Bellamy hadn't really spent time with Clarke. He should just take a moment to reevaluate the whole situation and really get to know Clarke. He knew she was hot and nice, but what else did he really know about her? They worked well around the house, taking care of Maid and the rest? He couldn't very well succumb to his body's desires and risk his daughter's heart.

The next day, Bellamy was grateful that Madi didn't have a soccer game. That meant they could stay in all day while he tried to figure out how he would approach Clarke.

After they had a late breakfast, his daughter convinced both of them to watch _Brave_, sitting between them on the couch with a never-ending smile. _Oh god_. If he screwed things up, Madi would hate him forever. I mean, he couldn't very well date Clarke just because his daughter wanted. Not that he was doing that. He _liked_ Clarke. He enjoyed spending time with her as they shared many interests. And he had met her a week ago! He couldn't claim he was in love or that she was his other half, but she definitely meant something for him.

The doorbell rang and Madi jumped off her seat, running to open the door.

"Grandma," she greeted, making him snap his head up. Clarke gave him a confused look. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, pumpkin!" He got up and watched his daughter and mother share a long up, before she turned her deep brown eyes to him. "Bellamy." Her tone was kind, but he could hear the anger in it. Oh boy, he was in trouble.

He got up, exchanging an apoplectic glance with Clarke, and hugged his mother. "Good morning, mom." He let her go and looked at the bags in her hand, curiously. "What are you-"

"It's Saturday. We always have lunch on Saturday," She explained, giving him a harsh look. "Hi! I'm Aurora Blake. Bellamy's mother," Aurora said to Clarke, who had gotten up and was standing behind him nervously.

"I'm Clarke," she introduced herself. Shifting uncomfortably, Clarke glanced to Bellamy. "I'm going to take a walk; give you guys some space."

Bellamy opened his mouth to tell her to stay, but Aurora beat him to it. "You don't have to leave, sweetheart. I want to get to know you better." He had to fight hard the urge to roll his eyes. Of course, his mother was here to investigate. It was just so like her.

"Mom, you don't have to make Clarke uncomfortable."

"I'm not doing that. Am I?" Clarke shook her head and Aurora clapped her hands together. "Great. Now, do you know how to cook?"

"Oh, Clarke is a great cooker, grandma! Yesterday she made us _caronara_." Madi told her grandmother, excitedly. To her, making spaghetti with bacon and cheese that actually tasted good was like being Gordon Ramsay. Bellamy cringed while reminding how his daughter had told Clarke that most of his food tasted like it had walked through hell and back.

"Carbonara, sweetie," Clarke corrected with a smile, "One of my best friends was a chef. She taught me a lot."

"Well, why don't you come with me into the kitchen and teach me some tricks?" Bellamy opened his mouth again to interject, but his mother waved him away. "Why don't you finish your movie with Madi?"

"C'mon daddy!" His daughter pulled him back to the coach, while Clarke followed Aurora into the kitchen. She gave Bellamy a worried look, who tried to smile in reassurance.

He found it very hard to focus on Merida's adventures with the sound that was coming off the other room. He could hear his mother's voice and Clarke's laughter mixed with the sound of the pans. He wondered what the two were talking about. Were they talking about each other's lives? Were they talking about him? Was his mother telling Clarke about his dark past with Gina?

When the movie finally ended, he jumped off his seat and tried to not run to the kitchen, where he found Aurora on the stove and Clarke setting the table.

"Octavia isn't coming?" He noticed that only four plates had been set out and looked at his mother in confusion.

"No. She is out of town on a competition." Bellamy finally understood why his mother had stopped by today. His sister must have tried to keep Aurora away, giving him space to figure his situation out before Aurora came searching for answers he didn't have.

Octavia worked on the city's only gym. Besides being a personal trainer- the best if he was being proudly honest- she also gave tai chi and cross fit classes. That's why she would leave the town some weekends. There were some local competitions that she like to be part of and having her students try. When she decided she wanted to work with sports, Bellamy wasn't surprised. She had always been very active, playing soccer throughout high school and becoming a coach after she left. The high school even offered a position as the soccer coach full-time, but she jumped at the chance of working in Indra's gym and the coaching Madi's soccer team on her free time.

"Madi! Lunch is ready," Clarke called and the girl came running in, taking her seat and waiting excitedly for her meal.

"What are we having?"

"Chicken with sweet potatoes and sautéed vegetables." Aurora told her granddaughter, placing the tray in the center of the table. Bellamy's stomach grumbled and both women stared at him.

"You ate almost ten pancakes at breakfast! How are you hungry?" Clarke chuckled at him incredulously.

"I-"

"It's all the horrible food he pretends to know how to cook. Whenever he smells actual food, his stomach goes nuts," Aurora explained, laughing. He pouted. "Don't be like that, Bell. You know you're a horrible chef."

"I'm happy Clarke is here. She knows how to cook." Madi declared, licking her lips at the sight of the golden chicken.

"Really?" He stared hurt at his daughter. How could she betray him like that?

"Don't worry. Your hot chocolate is magic." Clarke winked at him and he couldn't hold back the blush on his cheeks.

Aurora ended up staying the all afternoon with them. She sat next to Clarke on the coach and they exchanged recipes for a while, before Aurora decided it was time to start embarrassing her son and told her stories of his childhood.

"You should see Bellamy when I remarried. He hated Steve. Can you imagine a little four-year-old trying to threaten an adult man? It was hell. When I announced that I was pregnant he cried for a week straight, screaming that it was Steve's fault. He actually tried to bargain with God saying he would give up all his toys if he took Steve and the baby away." The woman laughed and he rolled his eyes from behind the book he was pretending to read. "But when his sister was born - oh boy- was he in love with her. Steve was still trying to win him over, so told he Bellamy to choose the name. Big mistake."

"Hey, Octavia is a great name!" He protested.

"Of course it is, sweetie." Aurora said, winking at Clarke. "Well, it's getting late and I should get home." She got up, straightening her blouse. Aurora turned to her granddaughter who was busy with a coloring book. "Hey Madi, what do you say we have a girl's day tomorrow? We can go to Garcia's and have waffles, then go to the mall and get our nails done."

"Can Clarke come?" Madi asked with a twinkle in her eyes. Aurora smiled, giving her son a suspicious glance.

"I think Clarke and daddy have plans for tomorrow." He blushed and noticed Clarke's cheeks also became red. So, this was his mother's plan. She came in to check Clarke out, to see if she was worthy of her son and granddaughter and she had passed with flying colors on the test apparently.

"Oh. Okay." His daughter said, shrugging.

"I'll come and pick you up in the morning," Aurora said, kissing her cheek. She then turned to Clarke. "It was lovely meeting you, Clarke. I hope we can do this again." And to their surprise, the older woman hugged Clarke.

"Whenever you want to, Mrs. Blake," she said, hugging her back.

"If you don't start calling Aurora, I might get mad at you," his mother warned, giving her a stern look. "Bellamy, walk me to the door." He rolled his eyes again - he was doing it more than he should - but got up and followed her to the front door.

"Mom..." he warned, when she pulled him closer.

"I like her," Aurora said with a smile.

"I could see that, mom."

"No, son. I _really_ like her."

"I-"

"And you really like her too. I can see it." He hesitated. He might have a crush on Clarke, but like her? Really like her? "You never looked at Gina the way you look at Clarke. It's like... the sun rises and sets with her."

"Gina-" What was he supposed to say? Was the love of his life? His other half? His soulmate? A week ago, he would say it without thinking twice, but right now the words got caught in his throat.

"Gina was a beautiful part of your life and gave you an amazing daughter. But God didn't have a greater plan for you two. Maybe the pain of losing Gina was just a way to prepare you to fight for your love for Clarke."

"I don't love Clarke."

Aurora smiled and patted his cheek. "Yet."

* * *

**Hey awesome nerds,**

**There you go. Chapter 3!**

**I'm missing your reviews guys! Give me a little love for Valentine's day.**

**Love you,**

**Jane**


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy Valentine's day everyone!**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_I swear here I am _

_Just as I am _

_I will always give more _

_Even if you go_

"So, what do you want to do today," Bellamy asked, glancing at Clarke as she did the dishes. "I was thinking we could do something together, while Madi's out." Madi had left a couple of minutes ago with Aurora, who gave him an encouraging smile.

He had spent the entire night tossing and turning on the couch, trying to figure out what he should do with Clarke. He thought about taking her to the movies, or even for a picnic, but wondered if that was too romantic. He also had the idea of taking her to the local bar or go to the nearest college to watch a football game, but he scratched that quickly. He didn't know if she liked going out or football. In the end, he fell into a restless sleep without any idea of what to do.

"Oh, you don't have to." She waved him away and he deflated but didn't give up just yet.

"No, I need to get some fresh air too."

Clarke hesitated. "My dad used to talk about a place where Arkadians usually went as teenagers."

Bellamy smiled. "The dropship," he told her, "We can get there. It's a little hike, but it'll do us good."

Clarke took her clothes to the bathroom and he took advantage of his empty room to go change. After staring at his wardrobe for a while, Bellamy shook his head at his stupidity. She was living with him and had seen him in his worst pajamas. So, he took out a green sweatshirt and some worn-out jeans. He put on his hiking books and went to the kitchen.

He could hear the water running in the bathroom and started to put a couple of bottles of water and a few snacks in his backpack. He stopped for a second, looking at his phone to check the time. It was almost 11 a.m. and the ride there would take them half an hour and they then they would walk another half. They would be hungry when they got there. It was stupid to just take some power bars.

The shower was still on and that meant Clarke would still take a while to be ready. He quickly grabbed the bread and sliced it, placing it on a container, and fetched some ham, cheese, peanut butter, jam, and a few more options from the fridge. There was a box with strawberries that he tried to ignore until he remembered Clarke telling him it was her favorite fruit. They were store-bought and not as good as the ones his mother grew on her yard, but they would serve their purpose.

He ran to his bedroom to get a bigger backpack and went to the cabinet in the living room where he hid all the alcohol.

Octavia had gone to Portugal in the summer and brought him a couple of wine bottles. He looked between the red and the white, trying to figure out which one to get when he remembered his sister explaining to him what she had learned when she visited a few estates in the Douro: red was good for red meats, while white was great for fish and to drink very cool in the summer. Red it was.

Clarke got to the kitchen as he closed the pack. She was wearing, once again, yoga pants and an over-sized sweatshirt that he recognized as his.

"I'm sorry. I'm very grateful for Octavia's clothes, but they don't fit." She apologized, playing the hem of the shirt.

"We can go to the mall to get some new clothes for you." He suggested and Clarke blushed.

"I don't have any money."

"Well, you keep cooking as well as you do, and I'll buy you all the clothes you want." He laughed as she rolled her eyes. "If you want, I could help you get a job. I mean, if you want to stay here. Not that I'm charging you anything, but... I'm sorry. I overstepped."

"No! I- That would be great," she said with a smile, "I'm not going anywhere."

He smiled back at her. "I'll ask around and see what we can find." They stayed in silence, just smiling at each other until he cleared his throat. "Are you ready?"

"I need to start to work out more," she said, bracing herself against a tree and trying to catch her breath, "How are you okay?"

Bellamy grinned. "I do this once a month with a friend. I'm used to the woods," he explained.

"I go to the gym and do pilates. I'm a very active person."

"The woods are not the treadmill, Clarke," he explained, laughing. She gave him an annoyed look. "Let's go. We're almost there." Clarke groaned and he shook his head. Taking a step in her direction, he offered her his hand and, after staring at it for a moment, she gratefully took it.

Walking with Clarke's hand in his felt odd. It had been a while since he held a woman's hand. Gina didn't really like handholding, but she would do it from time to time. Although this time it felt different. Clarke was not his girlfriend. He tried to think of her as a stranger, but somehow, in the last week, she had become his friend. A friend he was wildly attracted too.

"Here we are," he announced as they reached the clearing. Clarke let go of his hand, mesmerized by the view.

"This is amazing." And Bellamy had to agree. In the middle of the forest, hidden by huge trees, sat a small lagoon, with clear water.

As she walked around, touching the trunks and looking at the flowers that were already fighting to blossom, Bellamy took a blanket from his pack and placed it on the floor. He also took the lunch he had prepared for them, putting the food on the blanket and opening the bottle of wine. "Lunch is served, m'lady," he called, making her turn and stare at him in surprise.

"Bellamy, you didn't have to."

He shrugged. "I know. But I wanted to. Come." She sat on the blanket as he poured the wine in two camping mugs. "Only our finest glasses for you." Clarke laughed and accepted the mug.

"Oh, this is good." She said after tasting it.

"Octavia brought it from her trip to Portugal."

"Portugal? Really?" He quirked his eyebrow. "It's not the kind of destination people go for."

"O is a foodie. She heard wonderful things about their cooking - and wines of course - and decided to make it her first trip out of the country."

"And did she like it?"

Bellamy smiled, remembering how her sister would face time with him, showing him the wonders of the small European country. "She loved it. She wants to go back and wants us to go with her."

"I've never been to Portugal. I went to France a few times. Paris is beautiful. I also know London, Amsterdam, Berlin, Rome, and Kraków," Clarke told him, taking another sip of her wine.

"You went to Poland," he asked surprised, "I've been dying to go travel there. Did you go to Auschwitz?"

Clarke nodded. "It is a morbid place. It's like you can feel their souls, the pain, the hate. I cried myself to sleep that night."

"Oh, I bet it is."

"I feel like every human should go visit. It's a lesson about how humans can be at their worst." The smile quickly disappeared from her face. He wanted to make more questions but understood she was not willing to talk just yet.

"Hey, I brought you something." She looked at him with curiosity while he took out the strawberries from his pack. He was saving them for later but had the sense this was the right time.

"My favorites," Clarke exclaimed, taking one and placing it in her mouth. Bellamy immediately regretted bringing the stupid strawberries with him.

He had to hold back a moan as he watched place fruit between her pink lips. A bit of juice ran down her chin as she bit it, leaving a trailing behind it. Her tongue darted out of her mouth, licking her lips as she moaned in satisfaction.

"It's so good." He nodded in agreement, taking his eyes off her and shifting in seat uncomfortably. She placed the container out of the way and reached for his hand. "Thank you, Bellamy. It's the first time in a long time that someone is genuinely nice to me." Her eyes were full of tears and he had to hold back the need to hug her.

It was so ridiculous the way he was drawn to her. They had met a week ago and she was a virtual stranger to him. He didn't know anything about her past, what - or who - she was running from. He could very well land himself and his daughter, in a very dangerous situation. If this thing - whatever it was - was supposed to move forward, he had to get some answers.

He sighed. "Clarke, what are you doing here?" Her eyes snapped up, full of pain and fear. "I'm not trying to force anything or break your trust, but if you're going to be around, hanging out with my daughter, I need to know that we're safe."

She analyzed his face, looking for something he couldn't understand, before taking a deep breath and pulling her hand out of his. "I was in a relationship since... well, I guess it is safe to say forever. Our parents were friends and my mother always talked with them about how we were meant to be. Even after my father died and my mother remarried, they stuck around, and the idea was always there-" Clarke took another sip of her wine, trying to calm her nerves- "We never actually dated. He was my best friend. We grew up together, went to school together, shared heartbreaks and the first cigarette." She smiled fondly at the memories, before shaking her head. "At Art School, I met a girl named Lexa and things got serious. We were talking about moving in together, traveling, sharing a life." Bellamy stared at her, confused. "I'm bisexual."

Oh. "Oh. That's cool." Bellamy wondered if he ever met a bisexual, but all that came to his mind was Miller and Jackson. "My best friend is gay. He married a few years ago and they adopted a little boy last year." He smiled, remembering how his godson was delighted to know he would get a forever home. "I'm sorry. It's cliché, right? You tell me you're bisexual and I tell you I have gay friends to make you think I'm cool with it. Which I am by the way."

Clarke rolled her eyes but smiled. Bellamy cheered himself for being able to relieve some of the tension. "Anyway, my mother wasn't very happy about it. My stepfather is very conservative, and she was afraid it would reflect badly on his business."

_Well, wasn't her mother a nice lady?_ He thought, trying very hard to not roll his eyes.

"One day, Lexa went shopping and she was in an accident. They say she lost control of her car, but... I never really believed it." He was shocked, to say the least. Was she implying what he thought she was implying?

"You think your mother-?!" He left the question hang between them, but Clarke quickly shook her head.

"Not her."

He thought for a moment before it dawned her. "Your friend."

"At least his father." A few tears ran down her cheeks, but she wiped them away. "After that, I was in a bad place and, once again, he filled the shoes of the best friend again. Helping me, trying to cheer me up, letting me cry on his shoulder..." Clarke sighed. "We eventually started dating and it felt great. Until it didn't. He started getting more possessive, forbidding me from seeing my friends, of going to the gym, of getting out of the house with a shirt showing cleavage or when I was wearing skirts. One day, I fought back and he..." She hesitated, like just the thought of it hurt her. "He hit me. Once or twice, I don't really remember. Every time he was pissed or if I spoke loudly or if I said something that he considered embarrassing."

"Clarke, I-" She held her hand up, stopping him from talking.

"I need to get everything out." He nodded in agreement. "Last month, I was offered a teaching position at Art's program at a private college. I said yes and he got mad. When I asked why I shouldn't take the job, he started screaming that no wife of his should work, that it was my job to stay at home, take care of the household, our future children and all those stupid things. I told him he was being ridiculous, that we weren't living in the 17th century and that set him off." Clarke gave up trying to control her tears. "I was in the hospital for two weeks, Bellamy."

"Oh, Clarke. I'm so sorry." He moved next to her, taking her into his arms, and holding her close. She grabbed his sweatshirt, her knuckles turning white.

"I was so ashamed that I never told anyone. I told my mother that I had fallen down the stairs. Ridiculous, right?" Clarke didn't wait for his answer. "Last week, his mother was at our place all day trying to get started on the wedding planning. A wedding I wasn't even warned that was going to happen. He just shoved the fucking ring in my finger as soon as I got out of the hospital." He wondered what she had done to it as he had never seen her wear an engagement ring. "That night I kept thinking about my father and how ashamed he would've been to see me like that. So, when he left for work in the morning, I packed my stuff and just bolted out the door. I ran to the nearest bus stop and I saw Arkadia name in one of them." She pulled away and looked him in the eyes. "The night you found me I was just tired, Bellamy. I saw no hope for my life, of ever being happy again."

"You'll be happy, Clarke. You don't have to go back ever again. You can stay here in Arkadia with us," he told her, holding her face. She shook her head, tear streaming down her face.

"You don't understand. They are powerful, very powerful, and will find me. I'll have to go back."

"Well, let them come. They'll have to go through me," he promised. She gave him a weak smile and he pulled her back into his chest. They stayed in silence, with the only sound around them being the forest.

For a week he had been wondering what could have led her to that bridge and know he knew. Someone had broken her. Someone had taken her will and self-esteem, crushed them and turned them into dust. Someone had made her feel so worthless she thought she didn't deserve to live anymore.

Clarke could have chosen to never trust a man again. She could have chosen to cower under his glances and touches. She could have chosen to close herself away the world and forget to live. She could've run away from him that night.

But she got off the bridge. She trusted him - a stranger. She stayed in his house, cooked and cleaned for him and even treated his daughter like a princess. Clarke should be the one being offered the princess treatment. She had endured so much in the hands of someone she had trusted and cared for.

Despite that, here she was, in his arms, telling him about her suffering and pain. She opened up her soul to him.

It seemed fair that it did the same.

"Gina, Madi's mother, killed herself," he confessed. Clarke shifted in his arms. "She hanged herself in the woods south of Arkadia. I was searching for her with her father and brother when we found the body."

"Oh, Bellamy." He did not want her pity.

"That's why I couldn't let you jump that day. Gina didn't care for those that were waiting for her at home and we carry the burden ever since. I didn't who was waiting home for you-" Bellamy tried to hold back the tears. It had been so long since he talked about Gina this way- "After she died, her brother went to Los Angeles for college and a couple of years later so did her parents. They never came to Arkadia again."

"Really," she asked surprised, "They don't talk to Madi?"

"They call her every birthday and at Christmas. And she always gets a card with a few dollars. But that is it"

"Oh, Bellamy. I'm so sorry"

He waved her off. "It's okay. She has my mum and Octavia. Miller and Jackson also treat her like a niece. As do Murphy and Raven. It might not be blood, but it means a lot for her."

"And me. She has me now."

Bellamy looked down at her and smiled. "Yeah. She does."

Once again, they fell into a comfortable silence. The food and the wine were long forgotten.

It was the first time in years that Bellamy felt so peaceful. No matter how she got into his life or what circumstances brought her into it, Clarke made him feel like everything was finally falling into place.

Ever since Gina died, he had resigned himself to a lonely life, only caring for his daughter. His friends had tried to set him up with a few women, but none of them felt right to him.

But Clarke... She had become more to him in a week than some did in years. They shared many interests and ideas, which was something he didn't have even with his late girlfriend. The more time he spent with Clarke, the more he wondered what. he and Gina had in common besides a crazy teenage passion.

"So... What's the thing with this place," she asked suddenly, making him chuckle, "What draws the Arkadians to it? "

"Your dad never told you?" Clarke shook her head. "These are not verified facts, but it tells the story that Arkadia was founded by a hundred runaway teenagers about one hundred and fifty years ago."

"Are you serious?!"

"Unverified facts as I said." He explained, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, people say the group ran away from an orphanage from the outskirts of TonDC, a town a few miles south. They reached this valley and decided to here they would be safe from the abuse they suffered at the hands of their caretakers. Eventually, they separated into two small groups: one led by one of the oldest girls who believed they should focus on survival and becoming a functioning society; and another led by the oldest boy who wished to enjoy their freedom and have fun." He loved hearing this story when he was young. Every Arkadian had heard it as a bedtime story. It was like their very own fairy tale. "They lived in peace for a while and the leaders became closer to each other as they shared their troubles and burdens."

"They fell in love," Clarke stated and he nodded.

"They did. For a while, the romance was kept in secret, but they decided to finally share the relationship with their groups and join as one once again. But no one was happy for them. The girl's group did not wish to welcome members that did value hard work, while the boy's followers didn't want to leave behind their easy lifestyle. At first, they attacked each other, waging an unnecessary war, but eventually decided to focus their anger on their leaders. They chased the couple, who had decided to run away to live their love in peace, into the mountains and the boy was hurt. He begged her to leave without him, but she couldn't bear to abandon the love of her life. She dragged him to this very lagoon, where she hoped they could hide until the mob grew tired of looking for them and left." He almost laughed at the wondrous glance she gave the water. "That's where they found them the next morning. Frozen to death."

"Oh, no!" She exclaimed.

"Legend says their souls and love poured into the water and whoever bathes in it will catch a glimpse of their soulmate." Bellamy explained and she gave him a curious look.

"Have you ever gone in?" Clarke asked.

"More than once. But I was dating Gina and thought she was my soulmate."

"Maybe that's why it didn't work."

"Or maybe I don't have a soulmate," he joked, making her pinch his ribs.

"Let's find out." He stared at her confused, but Clarke just wiggled her eyebrows and got up.

"It's too cold. You'll freeze." Bellamy warned watching her get closer to the water.

"I got you to keep me warm." She joked, pulling the jumper from her body. That's when the world started to move in slow motion for him.

First, she took off the pants, giving him a full view of her creamy, pale legs. Then, she took off the sweater that when he first caught glimpse of her flat stomach and full breasts. How did those fit in that small bra anyway? He tried very hard to remember that the underwear belonged to his sister, but the black lacy thong and black bra never looked sexier to him. They contrasted perfectly against her pearly complexion and made his mouth water.

Clarke walked to the water and, to his surprise, she jumped without checking its temperature. He waited for her to come to the surface, getting up from the blanket and making sure his body's reaction wasn't visible.

"C'mon! It's great," she called. Bellamy took a deep breath before pulling off his jumper and sliding down his jeans. He cheered inside when she didn't notice his erection - or maybe she did and was too polite to say anything - and walked to the hem of the lagoon. "Don't," Clarke warned him when he tried to test the water's temperature with his feet, "Just jump." Thinking how bad of an idea it was to jump in the lagoon in February, where they would probably freeze to death, Bellamy took a step back and then lunged forward.

The cold hit him like a thousand knives trying to pierce his skin. He brought his head to the surface and his teeth started clattering. "I-it's s-s-so co-cold." He heard her laugh somewhere behind him, before felling her body pressed against his.

"Better?" Clarke asked in a playful tone. God, did she know the effect she had on him? Her hands clasped in front of his abdomen while her head came to rest on his back. He could feel every bit of her, and the cold immediately went away. "So, do you see it?" Her lips moved against his skin.

"H-huh?"

"Your soulmate. Can you see it?" Bellamy shook his head, not trusting his voice at the moment. "Me neither," Clarke whispered, "Maybe we don't have one."

"Or maybe the lagoon isn't working." His voice was lower than usual, huskier, and his cheeks immediately went red.

He felt her let go of his body and almost whined at the lack of contact, but as she appeared in his line of vision, holding on to his bicep to help her stay afloat, he couldn't hold back a smile. He was taller than her, more than 5 inches, which meant that his feet touched the bottom of the lagoon, while Clarke had to swim to keep her head of the water.

"I know magic isn't real, but I was hoping I would get a glimpse of the future," she confessed. He took in the pain in her blue orbs and searched for her waist underwater, pulling her closer to him. Their bodies were touching again and for the first time in a long time, Bellamy's chest warmed up. It was not that cozy feeling he had whenever he thought of or saw his daughter. No. It was like burning flames, that gave him wild energy and made his soul melt at the same time.

"The future is not written, it's a result of our decisions," he explained with a small smile, "But, I also believe that there is someone out there for everyone. The kind of love you only get in a lifetime. Look at my mother, my dad was a dirtbag and a screw-up, but Steve came into her life and it was like the sun after a storm. I know she'll never love another as she loved him."

"Like you and Gina?" She asked the question with a strange tone in her voice, one that he couldn't identify.

He thought about it for a second. Not that he needed to. The idea had been on his mind all night. If was being honest, it had been in his head for a long time, but Clarke's presence in his life made it stronger. "I loved Gina. I'll always love Gina. She was my first in everything. And she was the mother of my daughter. But I came to realize that's all she'll ever be; my first love. Who says your first love has to be your greatest love?"

Clarke took in his words and smiled. She moved forward and placed a soft kiss on near the corner of his mouth. "Thank you." She then rested her head on his shoulder, her lips close to her neck, and hugged him by the waist.

On that day, Bellamy wondered if the lagoon's powers were real and if they didn't work as everyone expected. There were no crazy visions or weird images on the water, just a searing feeling on their hearts and a renewed hope in what was to come.

* * *

**Hey there my valentines,**

**A little chapter with extra Bellarke only for you.**

**Thank you so much for your reviews. I'll try to get back to you tomorrow as I have the day off. But keep them coming! They are fueling my inspiration.**

**If you are alone on Valentine's day, remember: I love you.**

**Be well. Be kind.**

_Jane_


	5. Chapter 5

**I want to dedicate this chapter to **Books by em92**, **SamFanFirst**,** Trudy Ramey** and **Leomae**, who reviewed this story and inspired me to go on!**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

_If you want to run away _

_Far away from here_

_ I know where I can find you_

He watched his daughter get inside the classroom, waving back at him. Mrs. Rodriguez wished him a good day of work and closed the door. Bellamy waited for the noise to die down before heading to the principal's office.

"Good morning, Bellamy." The secretary greeted with a seductive smile.

"Good morning, Mrs. Teles." Echo had a crush on him since high school. She had toned it down when he started dating Gina but began giving him hints again after the funeral.

She was a regular at Mount Weather, the local bar he visited some Friday nights. Echo was always around, buying him drinks, giggling with her friends and just insinuating herself to him. He tried to ignore it as best he could, but she kept getting more and more persistent.

"Mrs. Franco will see you now," she told him, moving forward and giving him a full view of her cleavage. Controlling the urge to roll his eyes, Bellamy entered the principal's office.

"Bellamy, it's so nice to see you!" Becca Franco had been a few years above him in middle school. She was a very gifted student and eventually skipped a couple of grades and received a full scholarship to MIT.

After she graduated, Becca had been invited by an important company to join their research team. She had been the pride and joy of Arkadia. Until she left her job and moved back home, taking the principal position at the elementary school and refusing to tell everyone what had happened. However, after a couple of drinks, she had hinted to him that the company was tampering with some products they were selling. And that's how his friendship with Becca Franco started.

"Hi, Becca. I missed you too." She offered him a seat and he took it.

"So, what can I do for you? Is everything okay with Madi?"

"Yes, everything is fine. I'm actually here to talk to you about the Art's program you wanted to start here at school."

Becca sighed. "I know I had promised to get it this year, but I can't find anyone willing to move to Arkadia. And, as you know, we don't have anyone competent for that position here."

Bellamy smiled. "I might have someone for you." Her eyes widened in surprise.

"You do? Really?"

"Yes, she is an Art Major from New York Academy of Art and she is looking for a job. Are you interested?"

"Yes! Of course, I am! When can she come down for an interview?"

"Are you free after lunch?" He grinned as he asked the question, excitement filling him.

* * *

"Clarke," he called getting home after the morning classes. Bellamy had arranged for Atom, his colleague, to cover for him during his afternoon classes and e-mailed him a few worksheets for his students.

"Bellamy? Is everything okay," she asked with a worried tone, coming out of Madi's room.

"Get your shoes on. We're going shopping."

"What are you talking about?"

"I got you a job interview."

Her worried face was quickly replaced by a smile. "Are you serious?"

"Yup! Let's go! We need to get you some normal clothes."

As he drove them to the mall, Clarke asked him a thousand questions about the position she was applying for. And he answered each one of them patiently, not being able to hold back a smile. A job in Arkadia made Clarke's stay more permanent and, even if she decided to get her own place, they could spend more time together. Maybe even date properly.

Arkadia's mall was a small street with a few clothing and shoe stores. There were also a couple of restaurants and an ice cream parlor. When Bellamy was in high school, a few kids started saying they were going to the mall whenever they went shopping as a joke and the name stuck around. The town wasn't big enough that would justify building an actual mall.

He parked the car and went to open it when he noticed Clarke's hesitancy. "What?"

"It's the first time I'm out in public in over a week," Her fearful eyes turned to him. "It feels weird."

"Well, you'll have to go out eventually." Sensing that his words weren't enough, Bellamy reached for her hand. "I'll be right there with you." Clarke took a deep breath and exited the car.

They walked around, looking at the stores and tried to ignore the curious looks they were getting. It was typical of a small town. A new face showed up and everyone acted as if it was this gigantic deal. Bellamy was grateful that his mother was aware of who Clarke was or else he would be getting an earful.

"This looks good," she said, pointing to one of the most modern stores, "What does an Art's teacher dress like anyway?"

"I don't know. Mary Taylor is always wearing those long skirts and mixes orange with neon blue."

"Who?"

"The lady who teaches art at high school." She quirked her eyebrow. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

Clarke laughed at his expression and then analyzed his looks. "I think I could rock the vest and tie look."

Bellamy looked down at his clothes. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing! I kind of dig it and bet your female students do too," Clarke winked at him. "Very teacherly."

"That's not a good compliment," he complained but followed her into the store. Maybe he should get a makeover.

"Don't sweat it, Bell. You look sexy," Clarke waved him off, already looking through the racks. "Don't look so smug. In a few decades, no one will think that." The smile fell from his face and she grinned at him. "So, what's my budget?"

Bellamy shrugged and Clarke gave him an annoyed look. "Go nuts. You'll buy me a fancy dinner when you get your first paycheck."

"If you keep this up, I might as well give you all of my paychecks."

"That's fine with me." Clarke threw a dress at his face.

"Just hold this."

An hour later, Bellamy was begging God to strike him with lightning. Not that Clarke was a boring and annoying shopper, but because he was tired of hiding his growing erection each time she got out of the dressing room wearing a tight dress, or skirt, or whatever tight.

"I feel so ridiculous in this," She whined.

"Clarke, you're teaching seven-year-olds in a small town, not those uptight kids from a fancy college in New York. Just dress whatever you feel comfortable in." Her head appeared from behind the curtain.

"I still have to impress the principal to actually do the teaching part."

Bellamy chuckled. "Trust me. You'll impress Becca more if you look and sound like yourself," She gave him a curious look, before walking out a wearing a tight red dress that reached just above the knee and completely barefoot. A few minutes later, she came back, her arms full of clothes once again.

"Give me 10 minutes. If these fit, I'll take them."

Bellamy sat back once again, daydreaming about the red dress and how it fitted perfectly in her shape. After a while, Clarke exited the fitting room. "Are you ready to go?" But he didn't answer her. His eyes were glued to the abandoned red dress.

"Uh, why don't go next door to choose some shoes? I'm going to pay." She stared at him confused but nodded and left.

He waited until she was out the door before he ran back to the dressing room and fetched the dress.

"Can you wrap this," he asked the young girl on the counter. She smiled at him.

"I can put it in a nice box."

"Yeah, do that."

The girl carefully folded the dress and place it in the box. She gave him the total amount, which surprised him. For someone who was born into a very rich family, Clarke was able to not waste a lot of money. Did she do it because she knew he couldn't afford to spend a lot of money on superficial things? For a second he felt ashamed.

"Mr. Blake?" He looked up to the girl, wondering where he knew her from. "I was in your class a couple of years ago. Charlotte."

"Right. Charlotte Becker. The girl who loves Norse mythology." Her cheeks became red. "I still use that video you did for my classes"

Her eyes light up with excitement. "You do? "

"Of course. You didn't go to college? I thought you got accepted in NYU."

"Yeah. My mother got sick in my first year. Cancer. I had to come home and keep the store running."

"That's a shame. You are very bright" She thanked him and cast her eyes down. "You know. TonDc has a great community college and they let you take online classes. You should check it out. "

"Really? Thank you so much, Mr. Blake. I'll do that, " Charlotte handed him the bags. "Your girlfriend is very lucky"

"My- Oh, no. She isn't my girlfriend."

"Well, the way you two look at each other, no one would've guessed otherwise," Charlotte winked at him and thanked him again for his advice.

Bellamy left the store wondering what his former student was talking about. He knew that sometimes he looked at Clarke like a stupid teenager who had never seen a real woman before, but did she do the same?

He stopped in front of the shoe store and looked inside. Clarke was talking to the employee but noticed his glance and smiled warmly at him.

Bellamy sighed. Yeah, maybe Charlotte was on to something.

* * *

He paced nervously outside Becca's office. The bell was about to ring, and the corridors would be filled with children eager to go home, including his own daughter

Bellamy was hoping Clarke would be done by then. He did not want to give Madi hope that the older woman would make her stay more permanent only to have her heartbroken

Suddenly, the door opened and both women came out talking excitedly

"I can't wait to have you around here, Clarke."

"And I can't wait to get started."

"Just bring me the list of what you'll need and the class plan. You can start next week" Becca looked at him. "I'm sure Bellamy will be more than willing to help you"

"You got the job? " Clarke gave him a wide grin and he hugged her excited

"I'm so happy for you," he exclaimed, before turning to his old friend. "Thank you so much, Becca."

"Don't thank me. Clarke is more than qualified, and the students will love her." The bell rang and grabbed her hand. "Let's go tell Madi the good news."

"Oh, she'll be so happy. I'll see you soon Becca. " They waved the principal goodbye and went out to find Madi

The girl was, as always, at the entrance waiting for her father to pick her up and didn't hide her curiosity when she saw both of them coming out of the school.

"Why are you holding hands? " Her question made him realize he was still grasping Clarke's hand on his and immediately let it go. He did not want his daughter to get the wrong idea.

"Clarke has some exciting news!"

"I got a job! " Made smiled at her

"Where?

"Here at the school! I'm helping principal Franco start an Art's program"

"That's so cool! Are you going to be my teacher? "

"She is," Bellamy said, smiling proudly, "I think this calls for a celebration. What do you say we go for dinner at Garcia's?" Madi cheered, while Clarke gave him a doubtful look. "You got the job, we're celebrating."

* * *

"To Clarke and her new job," they cheered, clicking their glasses together.

"I'm so happy for you, Clarke. I'm sure you'll do a great job," Aurora said, with a warm smile.

Madi had insisted they invited her grandmother and aunt for dinner and Clarke immediately said yes. Aurora had been very welcoming to Clarke and Octavia had been lending her clothes since day one. They might not be her daily company, but she was thankful to both women.

"That means you're staying, " Octavia's tone seemed cheerful, but Bellamy could hear the mockery in it.

"Yeah. I'm not planning to get anywhere." Clarke glanced at Bellamy, who gave her an encouraging nod. "I'm going to the bathroom"

"Me too! " Madi jumped from her seat and grabbed Clarke's hand. Bellamy watched until they got out of earshot and turned to his sister

"You could be a little be nicer to her, you know? "

"I'm sorry, Bell. I find this all situation ridiculous." Octavia crossed her arms. "Are you even thinking about Madi?"

"Of course I am!"

"I don't think you are. I mean, the girl is getting too attached. What if Clarke leaves? Will you be able to handle the heartbreak? Both of them? "

"She won't leave," he said stubbornly. His sister was voicing his worries, but he couldn't let her get under his skin. He knew why Clarke was running and he knew she did not want to get back to the life she had before. If she left, it wouldn't be because she wanted to.

"That's enough Octavia," Aurora finally intervened. Both siblings stared at their mother. "Bellamy is a grown man and a great father. If he trusts Clarke, we should trust him." Octavia crossed her arms, pouting, and Bellamy sighed.

"Clarke has a troubled past and is going through some stuff," he admitted, "But she cares about Madi and she wants to stay in Arkadia."

"But why Arkadia? Of all the places in the country, why this one?"

"Because her father was from here."

Aurora looked at him, surprised. "You didn't tell me that. What is his name?"

Bellamy shook his head. "She never told me. He passed away when she was young, and she doesn't like to talk about him." He turned back to his sister. "Just give her a chance, O. I know you'll make great friends."

Octavia rolled her eyes. "What in hell could we possibly have common?"

"She likes to go to the gym." Octavia gave him a weird look, but whatever comment she was about to make was interrupted by Clarke and Madi's return.

"Daddy, can I have chocolate cake for dessert? Clarke says we can split a piece!"

"Sure, sweetie. Why don't you go ask Garcia for a big slice?" Madi ran away with a big smile on his face and he gently kicked his sister under the table. She gave him an annoyed glance but cleared her throat while turning to Clarke.

"So, my brother says you like to go to the gym."

"Uh-" Clarke seemed surprised that Octavia was taking an interest in her. "Yeah. I've done Pilates for almost 15 years. Oh, and I've tried Aerial Yoga. I went for a few classes before..." Bellamy's breath got caught in his throat as he watched a cloud of sadness pass before her eyes. He reached for her hand under the table and squeezed, trying to give her some comfort. Octavia watched the interaction with curiosity.

"We don't have those classes at the gym, but Indra has been talking about finding out someone for them." She explained. "If you are interested, you can get certified and give the classes yourself. Adjust it to your school schedule and all?"

"Are you serious?" Bellamy was as surprised as Clarke at Octavia's generosity. The girl shrugged.

"Why not? She needs the money and we need the teacher. I'll talk to Indra tomorrow and I'll get back to Bellamy."

"Thank you, Octavia," Clarke replied with a smile. His sister waved her away but couldn't hold back a smile of her own.

* * *

"I was thinking she would never fall asleep," he said, joining Clarke in the living room, "She is so excited that you'll be her teacher."

"And all that sugar didn't help."

"Probably not," he agreed thinking about the glass of coke his daughter had during dinner, the chocolate cake and the lollipop her aunt had bought her. "So, let's get to it?" Clarke nodded as she organized the material Aurora had given her in the kitchen table with a proud smile.

After he called her mother to give her the good news about Clarke's job and inviting her for dinner, Aurora had made a quick trip to the stationary store and bought the younger woman a few notebooks, a diary, a few pens and pencils along with a small bag to carry them. His mother was truly a good and supportive woman. She had met Clarke twice and she would help her without thinking twice.

He sat next to Clarke and guided her through her class plan. She would be working part-time, as the Art's program would be an extracurricular activity and had to take place after school, but she had to give Becca a plan of what she was planning to work with the kids.

Bellamy watched her as she wrote down the ideas she discussed with him. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a bun on top of her head and her eyes had a happy glint that made the blue stand out. He wondered if had ever met a woman as beautiful as Clarke.

He used to consider Gina a goddess. He barely looked to another woman when he was dating her. As the years had gone by, she had let herself go. Her hair wasn't as shiny as before; she stopped taking care of curls which became an unruly mess and her skin had acquired a weird white shade. But what bothered him the most was the way her soft energized golden eyes had become empty. He hadn't seen it back then, but he could remember it vividly now. And Clarke, even on that day on the bridge, had a glow that nothing could outshine.

"We should call it a night," She said, cranking her neck. Bellamy shook his thoughts away. "It's almost 1 AM and you have work tomorrow morning."

"Yeah. I think you have enough for Becca." Clarke grinned at him. "I'll leave you my laptop tomorrow so you can write this and feel free to use the printer. If you want, I'll come and get you before picking up Madi and you'll meet with Becca," he said, collecting his mug and taking it to the sink.

"Thank you, Bellamy." He waved her away, not even bothering to blush anymore. "You've saved my life."

"You don't need to be so dramatic."

"You have no idea what you did, do you?" She got up and grabbed his hand. "If it wasn't for you, I could be dead at the bottom of the river." Bellamy shook his head, trying to push the thought away. "You have given me a second chance and I'm so grateful for it." That made him quirk an eyebrow. Was all this gratitude? Was that how she saw him? As someone, she was grateful to? Clarke must have noticed his expression and grabbed back the hand he had started to pull away. "No! I mean, I am grateful, but you are so - so - much more that!" Clarke let out dry laugh and let go off his hand, running her fingers through the blonde curls. "I shouldn't feel like this. The last relationships I had ended up in disaster, but the way I feel about you... I can't really explain it. It's weird, because we barely know each other. "

"Clarke, "

"You don't have to say anything. I must sound desperate that it's ridiculous." She started to walk away, and he watched her back, trying to find a way to put into words what was going in his heart and head.

He tried to understand her fears. It was uncommon for women to jump into another relationship after suffering years of abuse. It was hard for them to trust another after that and he could see why. She afraid what people would say about her. That they wouldn't believe her story if she was already with another man. Bellamy felt like he should just let her walk away. Let her have some time and space.

On the other hand, he knew that what they had was different. He couldn't heal her, and she couldn't take away his pain and grief, but they could mend the broken pieces together. Weren't they doing that already?

"I haven't felt this way since Gina. Hell, I don't think I ever felt this way with her!" He chuckled. "You are a hurricane, Clarke, and I usually run away from storms. But for the first time in my life, I'm not scared of the future. I'm not planning or wondering. I'm just..." He struggled to choose the right word. "Happy" That was it. He was happy. He was not contempt or living, he was happy.

Clarke finally turned to him, her eyes glinting with hope. "I'm happy too."

"I don't want to force anything on you. We can take baby steps. Slow as a turtle. It's not a race," She took a step in his direction.

"My dad used to say that the race has a better view than the finishing line."

Seeing her smile as positive sign, he carefully approached her, giving Clarke time to stop him if she wanted. "What would your dad say about me?"

Clarke shrugged, a playful grin on her face. "Probably that you're a nice and smart young man that will never be worthy of his baby girl. " Bellamy chuckled

"Good enough for me." He cupped her face with both hands and slowly moved his head down, giving her time to push him away. However, Clarke tilted her head back and parted her lips. Praying to God, Buddha and Allah that Madi was deep asleep, Bellamy closed the distance between them and joined their lips in a soft kiss.

He felt like a clumsy teenager all over again. It had been years since he kissed another woman and kissing Clarke felt just right. She tasted sweet from the chocolate cookies she had been munching on while they worked, and he wondered if he had ever tasted something so good. Aurora always said that when she kissed his stepfather, she felt like their souls were meeting. He never understood it. Until now.

In his small kitchen, dying to get some sleep and with hundreds of questions running through his mind, Bellamy had never felt more alive. Electricity was pulsing in his veins and his body claimed for him to take more of her. But his heart beat steadily in chest, promising him that, despite of all the doubts and fear of the unknown, stopping Clarke from jumping off that bridge was the wisest decision he ever made.

Maybe the words he said in the heat of the moment to ease Clarke's pain were right after all: his first love wasn't his greatest love. He had to go through the painful loss of Gina to get to Clarke. And for the first time in five years, he was at peace with it.

* * *

**Hi there my moonpies,**

**Here it is, chapter 5! ****I hope you enjoy it.**

**Don't forget to review. Every time you read a story and don't review it, a writer dies a little on the inside.**

**On a side note, if you are a fan of The Umbrella Academy go read **QueenOfHeartbreak**'s****, our dear Beta, story **_The Make of a Livable Future_**. She is an amazing writer and deserves recognition. She also has a Bellarke one-shot that was inspired by this fanfiction and it wonderful! Along with a Narnia fanfiction that I'm obsessed with.**

**In conclusion, I love her and should go giver her some love!**

**Love you, **_Jane_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_But I'll stay here _

_Until you want to come back_

The next few weeks passed in a blur. Clarke had settled into a nice routine along with Bellamy and Madi.

A couple of days after their dinner, Octavia had called her brother, asking Clarke to go to the gym because Indra wanted to talk to her. Indra took an instant liking to Clarke and offered her the position on the condition she would take a two-week course to get certified as a pilates instructor in TonDC, fully paid by the gym. Octavia, who also was taking a certification as a CrossFit instructor for children, had agreed to give her a ride.

This meant that every morning both women left Arkadia and went to the neighboring town. They would get back before lunch, just in time for Clarke to eat something before leaving for the elementary school and give a couple of classes.

After she passed her certification, Indra happily scheduled a couple of classes in the morning but had to extend Clarke's hours at the gym as they became an immediate success. Now, there were two classes in the morning three times a week and a class every day at 6 PM.

Bellamy was over the moon with Clarke's success. The kids at school loved her and Madi told them at dinner that even her classmates that at first weren't excited about the idea were taken by the Art's program.

Octavia had also admitted how wrong she had been to judge Clarke and the two were becoming good friends.

"So, how are things going between you and Clarke," his sister asked him while he waited for Madi to finish soccer practice.

"What are you talking about," he asked, trying not to blush.

Octavia smirked. "C'mon Bell. I know you and I like to believe that I know Clarke a little. I can see you like each other."

"You know Clarke a little?"

She shrugged. "We spend a lot of time together and we have been talking." Bellamy chuckled. He knew that if Octavia gave Clarke a chance, they would be friends. "I think it's time you get over Gina and find someone who cares for you. She likes you; you like her, and I also like her. Go for it, big brother. You have my blessing."

Bellamy rolled his eyes as his sister called the girls back but couldn't hold back a smile. He didn't need her permission, but it felt good to know Octavia had his back.

Bellamy and Clarke hadn't kissed again. They had talked about it the next day and decided to take things slow between them. Especially because of Madi. They didn't want to give the girl the wrong idea as she was really attached to Clarke. She saw the older woman as a friend and if she started to think her as a mother and things between didn't work, they would have a full-on meltdown on their hands.

But that didn't mean they kept out of each other's way. Every night they would cuddle on the couch and watch their favorite TV shows. Clarke would rest her head on his chest while he placed his hand on her hips, running his thumb along her skin; or he would place his head on her lap as she played with his curls until his eyes felt too heavy to stay open.

However, no matter how good it felt to simply be with her, he wanted more. He spent his awakening hours daydreaming about kissing her, holding her body close to his, feeling her warmth and running his fingers along her soft skin. He began finding hard to focus on his students as all he could imagine was Clarke.

Deciding he needed to take some time off her before he exploded with need and desire, Bellamy suggested to Madi that she should get a girl's night with her favorite woman. That's how he ended up with Murphy and Miller in the bar while Clarke, Octavia, Aurora, and Madi had dinner at his house.

"Dude, are you sure? I mean, you know very well how Octavia loves to embarrass you," Miller said, giving him a doubtful look.

"Oh, I know she will and I'm willing to take the chance. I'm going nuts."

Murphy chuckled before taking a sip of his beer. "I thought you got rid of the yoga pants." To his surprise, Murphy had become his go-to guy on Clarke's subject. He somehow understood what Bellamy was going through and gave him honest and direct-to-point advice.

"I did! But apparently, Clarke looks hot in whatever clothes she wears!" He ran his fingers into his hair in frustration.

"I swear to God that if I don't meet this woman, I'll die," Miller admitted and Bellamy gave him an annoyed glance, "Man, I was there for Gina and you didn't sound as desperate as now. You're almost 30, you should have better control over your needs."

"The moment you'll meet her, you'll understand."

"Well, why don't you take her to Enzo's birthday on Saturday?" Bellamy looked at Murphy, confused. "Dude, if you forgot your godson's birthday, Raven will murder you."

"Oh god, I forgot."

Raven had called him earlier in the week to invite him to her youngest son's birthday party. She had hinted that he could take anyone he wanted and how he was forgetting his family due to some new interested. Well, her exact words had been 'I can't believe you are choosing your dick over the people who love you.'

He had felt ashamed and couldn't help but to agree with her. Before Clarke came into his life, he would visit Raven almost every week so that the kids could spend some together while they caught up over a beer. However, over the past several weeks, he had spent all his free time with Clarke and Madi.

"You don't want to piss Raven off. Especially now. Her hormones are going crazy." Miller and Bellamy stared at him trying to figure out what was wrong. Raven would normally be very explosive, but there was no reason for her to lose her mind right now. Right? "Baby number three is on the way. She wants to announce it on Sunday, so pretend it's a surprise."

"Congratulations," They cheered, clapping Murphy on the back.

When Raven moved to Arkadia, Octavia and she quickly became best friends and Bellamy couldn't help to think of her as an annoying little sister. She eventually started dating Murphy and he worried that she would become a bad influence on his sister, but Raven was a strong-willed and independent woman who didn't let her boyfriend get the upper hand.

After Gina died, Raven was willing to move her wedding, but he told her to get through with it as he needed something to distract himself. On the months that followed she took shifts with Octavia and Aurora to help take care of Madi, clean around and even cook for them.

Four years ago, she became pregnant with her first child, Oliver, but kept helping him. Only when Murphy came to confront him about depending on his wife and taking her away from home and their family did Bellamy realize what kind of person he had become. That's when he turned his life and attitude around. He became more present and returned the help he had been given.

Two years later, Raven gave birth to Enzo, her second child, and asked Bellamy to become the godfather. He had given Murphy a doubtful look and the man just nodded reassuringly.

"She is not giving up until you get a girl, huh," Miller asked in a playful tone.

"No, she is not," Murphy took another sip of his beer, "So, what do you say, Bellamy? Will we finally meet Clarke?"

Bellamy looked between his two eager friends and sighed. "Why not? She already met Octavia. How bad can it be?"

* * *

"UNCLE BELL!" Oliver shout could probably be heard across the city as he came running to him, with Enzo waddling behind him with a huge smile on his face.

"Hey, there big man," he greeted, holding the child on his arms, "How are you doing?"

"I'm chill." Bellamy laughed at his choice of words.

"Good to know." He then turned his attention to the toddler, who held his arms up to be picked up by his godfather. "Happy birthday! You're so big!"

"That's what you get when you become sloppy. You godchild grows up and you miss it."

"Hi Raven," He greeted kissing his friend on the cheek. She smiled at him and then turned to Madi.

"Hi, sweetie. I miss you."

"I missed you too, aunt Raven," The two hugged. "Why don't you go inside with Oliver? Uncle Murphy rented a bouncy house!" The children ran inside, and Enzo started to wiggle on Bellamy's lap, who placed him on the floor and watched as he disappeared inside the house.

"You must be Clarke," Raven said, turning to the woman behind him.

"Hi! I am. It's so nice to meet you."

"I'm Raven. Nice to meet you too. It's about time Bellamy let you out of the house," Bellamy rolled his eyes as the women shook hands.

"I'm only on parole. I can't misbehave or it's back inside." His jaw dropped as Raven laughed.

"Hah, I like you. What's your poison? Beer? Wine?"

"Can't I get both?"

Raven laughed again. "Oh, I really like you. Come inside." She walked back into the house and Bellamy gave Clarke a shocked look.

"You look cute when I surprise you." She kissed his cheek and went inside, quickly followed by Bellamy. He could not let Murphy hear her joke like that. It would be the end of him. Clarke was already in the kitchen, putting down the box she was holding and opening it. "I hope I didn't overstep, but I baked some cupcakes for Enzo. Bellamy said he like chocolate, so went with a classic: chocolate and strawberry."

"Damn, this looks amazing!" Raven stared at the chocolate cupcakes, which had been decorated with the number two and rainbow sprinkles. "I keep liking you more and more." She handed her a bottle of beer and grabbed a glass of juice for herself. "Let's go outside so you can meet the crew."

"I wouldn't mind a beer," he mumbled, following them outside. To his surprise, he only found their friends waiting. He wondered why Murphy's parents and Raven's uncle weren't at the party but left the question unasked.

"This is Miller, Jackson and John, my husband. You already know Octavia. Guys, this is Clarke," Raven introduced her.

"Hi, Clarke. It's great to finally meet you," Miller said.

"I'm glad you could come. Just make yourself at home," Murphy pointed to a chair next to Octavia and Clarke sat down, "Oh, hi Bellamy. Fancy meeting you here."

"Thank you, Murphy." He sat next to Miller, who finally handed him a beer.

"So, Clarke... Tell us all about you."

"There is not much to say: I'm Clarke, I'm 25 years old and I'm from New York," She answered, giving Bellamy a side glance.

Octavia chuckled. "You know, I think it would be more fun to embarrass Bellamy than Clarke." And that's how his nightmare began.

For the next couple of hours, the group told Clarke all the childhood stories they could remember, making Clarke laugh and Bellamy blush. Why did he even hang out with this crowd? Nevertheless, he watched with a smile how she quickly got along with everyone.

She talked with Jackson about his work abroad as a doctor, exchanging stories about the volunteer work they had done; she also spent a lot of time chatting with Miller about their passion for hockey and with Murphy about photography. Eventually, after singing happy birthday and cutting the cake, she settled with Raven and Octavia.

"She is good for you." Bellamy looked up to Murphy, who sat next to him with a sleeping Enzo in his arms. "She is beautiful, smart, kind and, I think as a father it's the most important thing, Madi loves her." His daughter ran to Clarke and showed her something, making the woman smile and give her a peck on her cheek, making the young girl beam at her, before running back to where Oliver was playing in the dirt.

"We kissed." Murphy's head snapped back to him. "It was a few weeks ago and nothing happened after that."

"Why?" Bellamy hesitated. If he told Murphy, he would tell Raven, who would tell Octavia and soon everyone would know Clarke's secret. "Just don't give me details and we'll be cool."

"She was in an abusive relationship. I don't want her to feel like I'm taking advantage." The other man thought about his explanation for a while, before the sighting.

"Kurt is not my biological father." He confessed and Bellamy stared at him in shock. He had known Mr. Murphy all his life and, despite Murphy looking nothing like the man, he always thought they were father and son. "My biological father was a disgusting piece of shit who loved to beat up my mother. She would work night and day to support his addiction and whenever he was in a foul mood or she used the money to get things that were needed, he punched, and kicked, and scratched, until he left her in a pool of her blood. Even after she became pregnant with me, he kept beating her." Bellamy saw a shadow cross Murphy's blue eyes, but she was gone as soon as it appeared. "One day, I was about two months old, she got home from work and couldn't find me. Eventually, she found me stuffed inside a chest and when she confronted my father, he said I was annoying. Can you imagine? A two-month-old being annoying," Murphy scoffed and adjusted Enzo in his arms. "She fought with him and he started beating her. Then he turned to me. She knew he would kill me. So, she grabbed a chair, hit him in the back, grabbed me and ran away."

"I didn't know that."

Murphy smiled. "No one knows that. Except for Raven."

"What did your mother do then?"

"She asked her boss for help. He was an old man who treated her like a daughter. He gave her some money and told her to get as far away as she could. She came to Arkadia, where she had an aunt, Grandma Ellie." This a lot of new information for Bellamy. He had always seen Murphy as a one-sided person, but apparently, he had more layers than Bellamy imagined. "She got a job at Murphy and Son auto-shop, where she met Kurt. One year later, they got married. Six months after that, they learned my father had passed away and he officially adopted."

"That's an amazing story. Your mother-"

"It's a warrior. And Kurt... I owe him more than my life. If it wasn't for him, I would probably end up like my father."

"No, you wouldn't. You're better than that. Just look at this house, at your children!"

Murphy scoffed. "I had a great role model," He sighed. "What I'm trying to tell you, is that it's never too soon to start over. You and Gina... You never sounded right to me." Bellamy quirked his eyebrow. "You were too perfect to be true. But you and Clarke... Dude, it's like you were made for each other. Just don't screw this up. You are a good man, Bellamy. You deserve to be happy." Octavia choose that moment to put on some music on her phone, dancing around with an empty beer bottle. "I'm going to put this guy in his room before he wakes up and screams his lungs out."

Murphy got up and started to walk away. "Murphy," Bellamy called, "Thank you." The other man nodded at him, before entering the house.

"Hey, big brother!" Bellamy looked up to see that his friends had decided to join Octavia and they were all dancing. Even Madi, Oliver and Robbie, Miller's son and Bellamy's other godson, were jumping around. "Get off your fat ass!" Rolling his eyes, Bellamy got up and joined them on the improvised dance floor.

"Yo, B-man is in the house," Miller shouted and Bellamy swung his hips. Then, he made a beeline for Clarke and all his friends dutifully turned to their own business.

"You got the moves, Blake," she said, smiling.

"Hardly." He grabbed her hand and made her twirl, between laughs. Clarke eventually crashed into his chest and looked up. Her cheeks were red, her blue eyes were shining, and her French braid was destroyed. She never looked more beautiful to him. "Go on a date with me," Clarke widened her eyes in surprise and began pulling away.

"Bellamy, I-"

"I don't care who they are. Let them come. I'm not afraid of them." She opened her mouth, but he didn't let her speak. "One date."

She gazed into his eyes and he could sense the wheels turning her head, weighing the pros and cons. "If they come for me-"

"We'll face them. Together."

She hesitated for a second, before giving him a small smile. "Okay. I'll go on a date with you." Bellamy couldn't hold back his happiness and hugged her tightly against him for a second, before making her twirl again. Winking, he turned and pulled Madi between them, enjoying the rest of the night with his two favorite girls and their friends.

* * *

"Bellamy! Clarke!" Octavia's voice had a worried tone into it that made the couple share a curious glance before hurrying into the living room.

It was the Sunday afternoon after the party and Octavia and Aurora were at Bellamy's house. Clarke was making waffles for them with Bellamy's help, while the other women were in the living room playing with Madi.

"What?" He asked his sister, looking for his daughter and any sign of injury, but Octavia had her eyes glued on the television. Usually, they had the TV on some kid show or tv series, but today it was surprisingly on the news.

"I was just flipping channels, and this appeared," She explained, her eyes widened in shock. An older woman with long brown hair with white highlights, deep brown eyes, and a worried expression talked to a wave of reporters while Clarke's picture loomed on the side of the screen.

"Clarke! You're famous!" Madi exclaimed.

"My daughter, Clarke Griffin, has been missing for almost a month. I don't know who took or if she left on willingly, but whatever happened, I just want my little girl back-" she sniffed and the man beside her placed a hand on her shoulder- "Clarke, if you are listening, please, just know that I love you and I want you home." She wiped the tear that was streaming down her face. "Now I'll give the word to my son-in-law, Wells Jaha." A man with a dark complexion, dark eyes and black hair approached the microphone. Bellamy took in his athletic build and a sick feeling took over him. How could a small woman like Clarke fight against that?

A wheezing sound to his right made him turn and he quickly realized Clarke was having a panic attack. Her eyes were frozen on the man on the screen, her breathing was out of pace and she was white as a sheet. Aurora ran to the woman and tried to whisper calming things to her, while he and his sister watched in shock.

Then, her knees gave out and she fell to the ground with everyone screaming her name.

* * *

He watched as she stirred in her sleep, her eyes fluttering opened and her forehead covered in sweat. Then, she quickly sat on the bed, gasping and looking around scared.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. You're safe," he whispered, getting up from the chair and sitting on the edge of the bed. Bellamy didn't dare to touch her, afraid she would freak out, but she grasped his hand.

"They are looking for me. They will find me and take me back."

"No, no! You're not going anywhere, you hear me?" She stared at him, the tears streaming down her face and he never felt a bigger need to reassure anyone. "They can come, but you won't go anywhere. We have a date, remember? You can't go before our date.

"Bellamy..." Her voice was weak and filled with fear. "Just hold me, please." Well, that was an easy request.

She helped him get under the covers and lay back on the bed, facing him. He hugged by the waist and pulled her close, while she snaked a leg in between his. They stayed in silence, just staring at each other and listening to each other's breathing.

After what it felt like a lifetime, she placed a hand on his face and another on his chest, near his heart. "I don't want to leave you."

"You won't have too."

She sighed, not believing his words. "Where's Madi?"

"Asleep. It took her a while. She was worried about you and wanted to stay with you."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be. We care about you and just want you to be safe," he whispered.

"Your mother and Octavia..."

"I told them. I had to." Clarke adverted her eyes and he squeezed her hip. "They are worried about you. They want to help you; they just don't know how."

"I just don't want to cause any trouble." Bellamy felt the anger rise in his chest. Had that bastard made her feel so worthless that she considered herself as a burden?

"Clarke, we care for you. You are part of our family and we are not giving you up without a fight." He grabbed her face gently and guided her to look at him. The fear in her eyes made him understand that words were not enough. Taking a chance, he pressed his lips to hers. At first, she didn't respond and kept her lips sealed, but dug her nails in the skin of his neck. After what felt like a lifetime, she began responding to the kiss.

Bellamy tried to show her every doubt and certain that he had in his heart. He wanted her to feel how scared of taking a chance. However, he wanted her to know how much he wanted her, how much he cared, how much he needed. Bellamy just wanted Clarke to realize what she meant for her. "I'm not giving you up without a fight," he mumbled against her lips.

"I'm not leaving you without one too," she promised. He pulled her against him, letting her hide her face in his chest and allowing himself to fall into the first real sleep in had in years.

* * *

"Daddy?" He opened his eyes to see Madi standing next to the bed. "Why are you sleeping with Clarke?" During the night, they had shifted in his sleep and he was now spooning Clarke, his hands tightly clasped between hers.

"She was scared."

"I'm scared too." Bellamy looked over the clock on the nightstand. 2 AM. Madi slept through the night ever since she was two years old. It was the first time in a long time she had woken up in the middle of the night. "Can I stay with you?"

He hesitated. Madi and Clarke loved each other but letting her see them together in bed and allowing her to join them was a gigantic step that could lead to a lot of problems. He could just get up and go to his daughter's room, but he didn't want to leave Clarke when she looked so peaceful. Sighing, Bellamy decided that it would do them no harm. Madi would just see it as a sleepover.

"Sure, sweetie." Grinning, Madi pulled the covers and cuddled against Clarke, who immediately place her arms around the girl and pulled her close.

He took a second to watch both of them. Ever since Gina he never thought he could get this again. He was always too afraid to date for two reasons: Madi could not like the woman he chose, or she could like her too much and things could not work out. Fate had taken matters in his own hands and placed Clarke in his way.

Wells Jaha was obviously a problem, probably bigger than he could imagine, but that night he understood it was time for him to come out of his shell and take what he wanted. Sadly, for Jaha, he wanted Clarke and she wanted him back. And no one could take that from him.

* * *

**Hi my sweet readers,**

**Here you go. Chapter 6. I'm working on chapter 7 and I go to be honest with you guys: it's one of my favorites so far!**

**Can't wait to see what you guys think about this one too.**

**Love, **

_Jane_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Take me as i am _

_Just as i am_

Bellamy absentmindedly poured some coffee into his mug. He had called in sick to work but made sure Madi made her way to school after promising him she would not tell anyone what happened the day before.

Clarke was still asleep when he got back, so he called Becca and told her Clarke was sick and wouldn't be able to go teach that day. Then, he texted Octavia, asking her to warn Indra and promising he would talk to her later.

His phone rang and he saw Miller's name on the screen. It was the third time he called him that morning and Bellamy decided to finally pick up.

"Hey."

_"What the hell, Bellamy? Can you explain to me why I had a missing person report about Clarke on my desk this morning?"_

Bellamy sighed. "It's complicated."

_"Well, uncomplicate it. I'm obligated to report her. It's my job on the line here!'"_

"Just give me until the end of the day. I'll figure something out."

_"__I get out after lunch. I'll stop by your place and we can talk."_ Bellamy wanted to tell him not to. Clarke was not okay, and he wanted to figure everything out before calling on the cavalry. _"__Just tell her to call someone and say she's okay."_

"I'll do that. See you later." He put his phone on the kitchen counter and ran a finger through his hair. How did things get so messy so fast? One day he was on cloud nine because Clarke had agreed to go on an official date with and the next a massive bomb dropped on them.

"Good morning," He turned around and saw Clarke entering the kitchen. Her eyes were red, and her face was puffy from all the crying.

"Hey. You okay?"

She shrugged. "Kind of." Clarke shifted nervously. "Can I borrow your phone?" She asked, pointing at it. "I should call my mother and tell her I'm okay."

"Oh, sure. Here you go," He unlocked his phone and handed it to her.

"I should put it in private," she said, changing the settings before dialing the number. "Hi, mom. It's me." Clarke pressed her lips together. "Calm down, mom. I'm fine." She rolled her eyes and Bellamy took a sip of his mug to hide the nerves. "I'm not coming back." Silence. "I don't care." Silence again. "I'm not interested in Wells' state of mind." Clarke let her head drop on the table. "We are done, mom. And there is no way we're getting back together." Her head snapped up and Bellamy saw the anger flash in her eyes. "Because every fucking time I went to the fucking ER it was not because I was clumsy, or I had a bad fall or slipped in the tub. It was because the fucking golden boy loved to make me his punching bag!" She got up and started to pace around the living room. "FUCK THE WEDDING! FUCK THE ELECTIONS! FUCK EVERYTHING THE JAHA FAMILY WANTS!" Bellamy stared at her in shock as he had never heard her curse. "Look, I have to go. I'll call you later." Silence. "No, you can't know where I am." Clarke ran a hand through her curls in frustration. "Because you'll tell Wells. Don't deny it. I know how you two work." She rolled her eyes again. "I promise I'll call later. Just... take out the missing posters and call off the police." Silence. "I know. I love you too. Bye, mom."

Clarke hanged up the phone and handed it to him, before letting herself fall into the chair. He walked to her said and pulled her into his arms. "It's going to be okay."

"I don't think she believed me." Bellamy tried to calm down the anger rising in his chest.

"I'm sure she did. She was just surprised."

"What will I do? I can't go out with that missing person alert."

"Miller is coming by later and we'll figure something out," he promised. She tilted her head.

"I don't want to bother your friends." Bellamy chuckled.

"After last Saturday, I don't think you have a chance anymore." She smiled and, after a second of hesitance, stood on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

They spent the day trying to get their mind of Clarke's problem. Bellamy ordered pizza and they ate sitting on the living room floor, chatting and exchanging small kisses. Around 3 PM the doorbell rang, and Bellamy opened, surprised to find, not only Miller but Raven, Murphy, Octavia, and Becca.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We're here to help." Raven pushed him aside and walked inside the house. "Clarke! What is happening? Are you okay? Do you need us to kick some ass?" Clarke glanced at him as Raven hugged her tightly.

"I'm okay."

"You scared us to death yesterday," Octavia held her hand and pulled her to the coach. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I-" Clarke looked around to their worried faces and started sobbing. "I'm so scared, O. I don't know what he can do to me. To all of you."

Miller sighed and squatted in front of her. "You need to press charges, Clarke. That's the only way we can protect you."

"NO!" She practically screamed.

"If she presses charges, he'll know where she is. We can't take that chance," Bellamy explained.

"You have to at least convince your mother to take down the missing persons," Murphy advised. "Even if we keep quiet about this for a while, this is a small town and people talk."

"I talked to her this morning, to let her know I'm okay," Clarke mumbled. "She said she would talk to the police."

"I googled _him_ last night, Clarke. His father is some famous lawyer running for mayor," Raven said. "How powerful is his family?"

"Very. His grandfather was a lawyer and started the company about 40 years ago. His father took over and, if his dad wins the election, Wells is taking over. They know everyone, good and bad, and their bank account is never-ending. And people love money." A silence befell upon the group. Octavia and Raven were sitting on each side of Clarke, holding her hands, while the men just stared at the floor helplessly.

"Fuck him. Fuck his money and his status," Murphy exclaimed, getting up. "He messed with one of us. We're going to fuck him up!"

"JOHN! LANGUAGE!" Raven warned him but didn't hide her smile.

"What the hell? I'm with Murphy. Let's fuck this guy up!"

"I actually have an idea," Becca said, pushing herself from the wall. They all stared at her, urging her to talk. "I know a guy, who helped before. He's a PI, but I think it's our best option."

"Do you wanna dig dirty on Clarke's ex?"

"Yes. I want to gather as many people as we can. Ex-girlfriends, hookers, business partners, people who were wronged by him."

"And then what? We take him to court," Murphy asked, "You know it won't be that easy, right?" Becca shrugged.

"Or we just blackmail him. A guy like that won't go public if he knows his reputation will be ruined."

"We don't have money for a PI," Bellamy admitted and Clarke cleared her throat.

"I think I have your solution. Can I use your laptop?" He nodded and went to grab it. She opened her bank website and tried to access her account. After a few tries, she sighed in frustration. "Wells must have tried to access my accounts and now my username is blocked. I can't change it unless I go to the bank in person."

"Well, that's out of the question." Clarke tapped her finger against the laptop for a while before started tipping again. "What are you doing?" But the sound of an ongoing call on Facebook answered for her.

"Do you think you should do that? Can't the IP address be tracked?" Raven asked.

"That's why I'm using Bellamy's. Gabriel!" The group moved to peek at the screen, seeing a young man, with tanned skin and brown eyes staring back at them.

"_Clarke! Oh my god, where have you been?_"

"Are you alone?" He hesitated before pulling the screen back and showing two young men with him: one with thick dark brown hair, pale skin, and brown eyes and the other of Asian descent, with straight black hair and an oval face. "Hi, Jasper! Hi Monty!"

"_Girl, you almost gave us a heart attack!"_

_"Clarke, I miss so much! Come home!"_

"I'm really sorry, guys, but I had to leave."

"_It's because of _him_, isn't it_," Gabriel guessed in a hushed tone.

"Yes. I need a favor."

"_Anything._"

"Do you still have the spare key for my apartment?" Gabriel nodded. "I need you to go there. On my work desk, you'll find a box with some bank documents. I need you to bring it to me."

"_Don't you mean to send it to you?_" Clarke shook her head.

"I can't risk them intercepting the package." Gabriel hesitated. "Please, Gabe. You're the only one I can count on."

"_Fine. I can take some time off, saying I'm visiting my parents. Where are you? What is the nearest airport?_" Clarke exchanged a glance with Bellamy.

"Actually, I would feel more comfortable if you just drove here."

"_From New York?_" Clarke shook her head.

"Too obvious. Just buy a ticket and got to your parents. Stay for a couple of days and drive here. I'm six hours away from your hometown."

"_Six hou- Fine, but you owe me. Big time._" Clarke smiled at him.

"I know. Thank you."

"_Who is Bellamy Blake anyway? Your knight in shining armor?_"

Clarke chuckled. "Something like that. We'll talk better when you get here." He opened his mouth, but she was quicker. "I'll text you the address when you get to your parents' place."

"_Fine. I'll see you soon. Love you._"

"Love you too. Just make sure Jasper and Monty keep their mouth shut."

"_Will do._"

"_We love you, Clarke!_" The other men shouted as she waved back at them and she hung up the call.

"Who was that?" Octavia asked, her eyes still glued to the screen.

"Gabriel, Monty, and Jasper. My squad," Clarke turned to Bellamy. "I trust them," He nodded and then turned to Becca.

"Call your friend and ask him how soon he can get here."

* * *

Bellamy parked his car in front of his house but didn't get out. This had been a hard week for them, and he just needed a moment to catch his breath.

Clarke had begged her mother to call the police and inform the media she was alive and well. Abby had finally agreed as long as Clarke called her every day and her daughter made sure to keep her promise. With the police out of the way, Clarke happily slid back into her routine. However, Bellamy could see how nervous she was, always looking around, her eyes alert.

During the night, she would wake him up and ask him to join her in bed as she was too scared to sleep alone. that meant that every morning he would be up at 6 AM to avoid getting caught by his daughter. The last thing he needed was Madi asking if Clarke was her new mother.

However, that didn't stop him from asking Aurora to take Madi on Friday night so he could take Clarke on their date. They needed to relax, and he knew exactly how.

Bellamy got into the house and immediately lost his smile when he saw Clarke sitting in front of the TV. She was wearing some of his old sweater and his smallest sweatpants, her head was up in a bun and her glued to the screen.

He sighed and walked to TV, turning it off. "Stop. Miller said that they had a memo telling to call off the search for you and there hasn't been anything on the news."

"I was checking," she said, looking at her feet.

"C'mon. Got get dressed. We're going out."

"Where?"

"You agreed to go on a date with me, didn't you?"

Clarke sighed. "I don't think that's a very good idea," He squatted in front of her.

"Fuck Wells. That is our new motto." She stared at him, probably wondering what he was trying to get with this. "Repeat with me: Fuck Wells."

"Fuck Wells."

"Louder."

"Fuck Wells!"

"Louder!"

"FUCK WELLS"

"Great! Now, go get ready! I have a surprise for you." Bellamy gave her a small peck on the lips and smiled as she got up excitedly and ran to the bathroom. As soon as she got out of sight, his smile flattered. Never in his life, he imagined he had to go through something like this.

He had googled Wells and he was shocked to see how important her ex-boyfriend was. He had graduated from Harvard with honors and currently a junior partner at his father's law firm, having clients so famous that even Bellamy, who usually didn't care for pop culture, had known who they were. Thelonious Jaha was one of the favorites in the run for mayor, not only due to his popularity as a lawyer but because he was addressing social problems such as the bad public schools, racial problems within poor neighborhoods and police forces while advocating for a fairer medical system. Hell, even Bellamy would vote for the guy!

While snooping Wells' carefully planned Instagram - which was obviously the work of a skilled marketing team -, he had found a picture of him and Clarke. Bellamy stared at it for a while, searching her eyes for any trace of fear, but all he could see was how uncomfortable she was at the black-tie they were. He had taken a deep breath before clicking on her username to look around her pictures. Her last post was from Christmas, sitting in front of the gigantic tree in a living room, and her smile was forced. He could tell because the corners of her eyes weren't pulled up as they usually were when she smiled at him.

Bellamy kept scrolling down. She had a couple of pictures with Gabriel, some with Jasper and Monty, one with her mother and stepfather, but most of them were of her work. That was until he saw one of her with a tanned, blue-green eyed young woman. Wherever you are, I miss you. Bellamy immediately figured out that it was Lexa, her late girlfriend. He noticed their smiles and the love-filled glance they were sharing. He felt a pain on his chest, like someone was ripping his heart out, and felt an idiot for feeling jealous of someone who was long gone.

"I'm done with the shower if you want to use it." Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts. She was peeking from the bedroom door, her hair still wet from the shower. Bellamy wondered if she was only covered by the towel, but her naked shoulders answered that question for him. Suddenly, his jeans became more uncomfortable and a cold shower didn't sound like a bad idea.

Bellamy watched as Clarke jumped around like a little child, the cotton candy in her hand and a churro in the other.

Atom had been the one to tell him about the traveling carnival in TonDC and he knew right away he had to take Clarke to it. She had once told him how it was her favorite thing to do with her father and he was hoping it would keep her more at ease.

"Bellamy, look!" She called pointing at a stand. "It's a caipirinha. I drank this when I went to Brasil. It's soooo good!" Clarke walked up to the man and greeted him. "Two, please. Don't cheap out on the cachaça."

"You know your caipirinhas, _Senhora_," The man said, starting to mix the ingredients.

"_Estive no teu país à cinco anos atrás. Bebi tantas capirinhas que acho que o meu sangue é cinquenta por cento cachaça_.*" Both man stared at her, surprised. Clarke winked at them, finished her churro in two bites and reached for her wallet.

"There is no way you're paying." Bellamy grabbed her hand and Clarke rolled her eyes.

"I am paying. So, let go." He shook his head. He may be sounding outdated, but he wanted to treat Clarke and wasn't about to let her damn pride ruin it.

"No one is paying. On the house," The couple looked at the vendor, confused. "It's the first time in two years that I hear someone else talk to me in Portuguese. Obrigado." Bellamy and Clarke thanked the man and started to walk away, sipping on their drinks.

"God, this is strong!"

Clarke giggled. "I know! Great, uh?" He had to agree with her. The mixture of the sweet from the brown sugar and the sour from the alcohol was one of the best things he had ever taste.

They walked in silence, finishing their drinks. That was one of the best things about being with Clarke. They didn't need to speak all the time to be comfortable around each other. If there was one thing Bellamy enjoyed was his quiet time. Raising a child meant that it wasn't always possible to be alone with his thoughts. But with Clarke, he felt great at just be. One of his favorite times of the day was when they sat around the kitchen table while they prepared their classes for the next day.

"Let's go on the ferries wheel," he suggested when they finished the drink. Clarke beamed at him and grabbed his hand, interlocking their fingers and pulling him towards the attraction. He did his best not to complain when she paid their tickets and they jumped into an empty seat.

The wheel stopped when they were at the top and Clarke sighed, resting her head against his shoulder. "Can I confess something to you?"

"Of course."

"I think it's the first time since my father died, that I've felt truly happy," Bellamy glanced down, surprised. "It's true."

"What about Lexa?" He had to ask. No. He needed to know.

"I loved Lexa. I truly did. I imagined myself growing old with her and when that was taken from me, I was crushed. But-" Clarke fought to choose the right words, pulling her head from his shoulder and turning slightly towards him- "You, me and Madi it just feels..."

"...Right." He grabbed her hand and let out a soft chuckle. "I know. I feel the same way. It is like we were always meant to be."

"Is it weird?"

"Honestly?" The same thought had crossed his mind over and over again ever since he felt attacked to her. "It feels right to us, it shouldn't matter." He could see the doubt in her eyes and tried to figure out a way to make her feel safe. It was his goal since they met, right? Why should now be any different? "I know it might sound wrong, but I never felt this way. Not even with Gina."

"Bellamy-"

"I know. She is the mother of my child. I should - I don't know what I should. Love her more? Care for her more?" He sighed. "I'll always love her, but she made her choice. Now I'm making mine." He cupped her face gently and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss, which bore the promise of a lifetime.

* * *

Bellamy turned around to find Clarke standing in the middle of the living room, watching him. He walked towards her and she reached for his hand, which he gladly took. His eyes locked on their intertwined fingers. Her pale skin contrasted with his tanned one and her hand looked small compared to his. How could such a small gesture mean so much?

"What's on your mind?" Bellamy looked up, searching deep into her blue orbs. He was unsure of what he was looking for.

"Don't break my heart," It sounded like a simple request, but it had a much profound meaning than just words.

"As long as you don't break mine." Her eyes twinkled under the dim light.

There. He found it.

Not wanting to wait any longer, he dipped his head and captured her lips in a passionate kiss, his heart beating wildly into his chest and his hands flying to her waist. He pulled her to him, their bodies as close as physically possible.

Clarke moaned into his mouth and ran her hands along his arms, shoulders and finally his neck, grasping the curls on the back of his head.

As the kiss grew out of control, she tugged his hair and he bent slightly, finding the back of thighs and pulling her up. Clarke wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her center against his.

Bellamy let out a small growl and pulled his lips from hers, down her neck, leaving a trail of hot and wet marks.

"Bedroom." Her request was like a command.

He blindly walked them to his bedroom, slightly tripping once and almost running into the wall. Clarke giggled between kisses but didn't ask to be put down once. If that wasn't trust, he didn't know what it was.

Bellamy dropped her softly on the bed and took a moment to look over her body. He took in the curve of her hips, the way her breasts moved with every breath she took, how her eyes became a pool of charcoal. How had he been so lucky to find a woman like her?

Clarke held her hand up, calling him to join her. This was it. This was the moment that would tip the scale of her relationship forever. "Bellamy," she urged, her voice filled with desire. In the short time, they know each other, Bellamy Blake had never denied Clarke Griffin anything.

He took off his sweater and she sat upright back on the bed, her hands looming over his toned abdomen. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of her soft touch on his warm skin and allowing her to explore. Her lips gently kissed a soft spot under his bellybutton, near the pants line, sending a shiver down his spine and making his cock twitch with anticipation.

The sound of his zipper unfastening, Bellamy's eyes snapped open and he watched as Clarke pulled his pants down, quickly followed by his boxers. She licked her lips at the sight of his stiff manhood and Bellamy couldn't hold back a moan. "Clarke," he tried to warn her. He hadn't had sex in almost six years, if she took things to fast, he wouldn't last. Dark blue eyes met his brown ones.

"Trust me." Bellamy gave her a small nod and Clarke brushed his length with her palm.

He closed his eyes. That felt so good, but it was short-lived. He almost cried in desperation when she pulled her hand away, but Clarke then took him in her mouth. He sighed, letting his head fall back while she moved her mouth from the base to the tip. She gave a throaty moan and he grabbed her hair, forcing her to pull back.

The look she gave him was heartbreaking, but if she didn't stop now it would end things sooner than he wished. "I can't hold out long." Clarke nodded and licked the cum that was leaking from his tip. Bellamy groaned again, but she didn't keep up the torture.

He pushed her against the bed, kicking his pants and briefs out of the way. She gave him a luxurious look and smiled. "This doesn't seem fair," Bellamy said and his hands started to unbutton her jeans. He almost lost it when her green panties came into full view. A lot of men found red, black and white to be the stimulating colors, but for him, no color was sexier than green.

He threw her pants to the other side of the room and lay down, covering her body with his own, capturing her lips with passion, his tongue finding hers on a battle for dominance. Clarke started to struggle under him, trying to pull her sweater off. Bellamy took his lips off hers and helped her undress. Oh god, green bra.

He dropped his forehead against hers and sighed. Clarke ground her hips against him, and he dug his nails in the soft skin in her hips. "You're going to be the death of me," he whispered, and she smiled, showing him that she was well aware of the effect she had in him.

He nibbled her earlobe, playfully, while his hands when to her back, quickly unclasping her bra. Clarke tugged her shoulder, urging him to roll over. When his back hit the mattress, she got up, sitting on his lap. With a smug smile, she let the bra fall off her body, giving him a privileged view of her full breasts. Bellamy wondered if had ever seen such perfect bust and his mouth watered at the thought of tasting them.

He sat back in the bed, holding her close to him and taking one nipple between his lips. Clarke moaned, letting her head fall back and holding onto his neck.

Bellamy took his time at that position. Nipping, kissing, licking and sucking until both her nipples were hard, and she had lost control of her hips. He could feel how wet she was and, deciding that he wanted to explore her body furthermore, Bellamy rolled again, laying her back on the bed.

She whimpered when he took his mouth off her breasts, placing wet kisses down her stomach while pulling her underwear down. He took in the smell of her arousal and licked his lips. He used his tongue to open her folds and planted a kiss on her clit. Clarke let out a loud moan, her hands grasping the sheets and her thighs closing around his head.

Bellamy couldn't hold back a victorious smile at her response. Gina always hated it when he tried to go down on her, usually ruining the mood and making him feel incompetent. But with Clarke, he never thought how she would react to it as she had been the one to start it, giving him head. He wondered how could have been so lucky as to fall for such a different woman. Despite her popularity and posture, Gina had always been more uptight in the bedroom, refusing to try new things. After a while, Bellamy pushed aside his disappointment and had tried to pleasure her the best he could. However, Clarke was making him feel powerful and masculine, trusting him enough to let him taste her while she moaned and thrashed above him.

He noticed how her breath became unsteady, her thighs held him more strongly and she gasped on the sheets until the knuckles turn white. "Bellamy," Her voice urging him made Bellamy realize she was close to orgasm and he licked and sucked her clit one final time before she came undone on his bed.

Bellamy kissed his way up back to her, not bothering the wipe her juices off his face, and captured her lips in a soft kiss. "You taste so good," he confessed, giving her a moment to catch her breath, "Clarke, I'm dying here." She smiled, opening her eyes and staring back into his soul. For the first time since they met, he could see the raw, naked truth of Clarke Griffin. He could see the pain, scars, longing, and desire. It was a mess, but it was a beautiful mess. And he was willing to take it.

She pulled him to her, opening her legs to accommodate him over her and grabbing his cock. "I need to-" He motioned to the nightstand where he kept the condoms. She shook her head.

"I have a hormonal implant. I can't get pregnant for the next two years," He hesitated, and Clarke grabbed his face with both hands. "Do you trust me?" Not trusting his voice, he just nodded and placed himself at her entrance, gently sliding inside of her and inciting a moan from both of them.

He dropped his head on her shoulder, giving her time to adjust to his length. After a second, she started to move and he began to thrust slowly, trying to hold back his desire to give himself up to her heat and tightness. If he did, it would all be over too soon, and he wanted to make her come again.

"Bellamy," She begged, twisting her hips, urging him to move faster. He pulled back to look her in the eyes.

"I'm not sure if I can hold on too long." Clarke shook her head.

"I don't care. We'll have time to take things slow. Just..." He noticed how she struggled to find the right words. "Fuck me." That was it for him. Hearing Clarke asking him to fuck her, made him lose control.

He pulled out, leaving just his tip, a pushed back in again steadily. Clarke gasped at the same time the smack of their hips sounded all around the room and he decided to give him. He thrust into her wildly, quickly losing control of his movements. He bit down her neck and started to suck on her breasts again, trying to give her some pleasure before he came as he felt the pressure building up on his lower abdomen. Her walls started to clamp down around him and, without being able to hold out any longer, Bellamy came, letting out a groan. Knowing she was close, he plunged into her a couple more times until she moaned his name.

He let his limp body fall over her and hid his face on the curve of her neck, trying to catch his breath. Afraid that he would crush her, Bellamy slid out of Clarke and moved to the side. He knew he should be a gentleman and go get her something to wipe off their juices, but he couldn't find the strength in him to get up.

Clarke started to cuddle against him, so he held out his arm, allowing her to rest her face on his chest while he embraced her back. Clarke looked up to him and he gave her a small, lazy kiss on the forehead. She smiled and closed her eyes, her breathing eventually slowing down. Trying not to wake her up, Bellamy managed to pull the covers over them and stared at the woman sleeping in his arms.

He replayed their lovemaking session in his head, amazed at the fact that Clarke had such a deep trust in him. When he rescued her of that bridge, he couldn't even start to phantom how important she would become for him. Had he done the same thing if he knew? He had believed that his love life was a closed chapter up until that point, never giving other women the chance to seduce him or get too close.

Watching Clarke sleep, he realized that, even if he knew back then what would grow between them, he would've done the same thing. Somehow, between that bridge and this moment, he had fallen for her. He was in love with Clarke Griffin and that was it. Simple, pure and everlasting.

* * *

***"I was in your country five years ago. I drank so many caipirinhas that I think my blood is fifty percent cachaça."**

* * *

**Hey awesome nerds,**

**Here is: chapter 7 for you guys.**

**This is my first mature scene, so I would love to have your opinion on it. It was really hart to write it, but I thing I did great. What do you think?**

**I'm not sure when I'll post again, but I'll try to be quick.**

**Love,**

_Jane_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_I won't even ask you for more _

_Even if you go _

_I swear_

In the months that followed, Bellamy found himself living in a permanent state of happiness. Clarke and he kept their romance going, still hiding it from Madi's curious eyes as not to give her another reason to see the older woman as her official mother figure.

They would ask Octavia and Aurora to watch his daughter from time to time so they could get some alone time. The couple had a few other dates, always taking the trip to TonDC to avoid any curious looks from fellow Arkadians but had no shame in sharing their affection in front of his - and now her - friends as long as the kids weren't present.

Raven and Octavia were delighted to have another woman in the group and would often invite Clarke to hang out. With her belly growing, Raven got tired more easily, so she would kick Murphy out of the house along with their children and invite her friends to her place for dinner from time to time.

When the couple went to find out their baby's gender, she asked the doctor to write it in a piece of paper, instead of telling them and placed it into a sealed envelope, which was carefully handed to Clarke and Octavia. The two had opened it on Bellamy's living room, giggling excited, but refused to share their discovery with him. Then, they went into party planning mode, trying to make Raven's gender reveal an epic event.

They had all gathered around on Murphy's backyard, with everyone betting on the baby's gender on a blackboard and supporting a pin - pink for girl and blue for a boy - that showed their guess. The night before, Clarke and Octavia had boiled almost two dozen eggs, painting them blue and pink and leaving a raw one that would tell everyone if the baby was a girl or a boy.

"We now ask the parents to take their places and start to bump eggs into their foreheads," Octavia said, pointing to the table. Murphy and Raven shared a glance.

"Actually, we have another idea." Bellamy could see how tense his girlfriend and sister had gotten. If Raven ruined the party, the duo would freak out with all the work they had. "We want the godparents to do it." Their friends and family stared at the couple, waiting for them to announce who they had chosen as godparents, while they grinned wildly at each other. "Clarke and Jackson. Would you do the honors?"

Bellamy noticed how Clarke's eyes filled with tears when Raven called her name. He also got emotional. It wasn't the first time he thought about who they would choose as godparents this time. He remembered how hard it had been for him and Gina to agree on Madi's. In the end, they had chosen their siblings, but after Ken moved away and cut all contact with Madi, Miller gladly stepped into the role and it hadn't been questioned ever since.

For Murphy and Raven, it had been an easier choice. None of them had brothers or sisters, so they turned to their friends. Octavia and Miller were chosen as Oliver's godparents and Bellamy along with Harper, Raven's old college roommate was Enzo's. He was already expecting Jackson to be the new baby godfather, but Clarke as the godmother caught him by surprise. He knew his girlfriend had grown close to Raven, but he never expected his friend to invite her to such an important role.

Clarke hugged Raven and Murphy, thanking them for the honor, and took her seat next to Jackson. He gave her first choice and she picked a blue egg, pressing it against her forehead. It didn't break and Jackson decided to take a pink one, which didn't break also. Blue. Pink. Pink. Blue. Blue.

Raven screamed filled the air as the group cheered. Jackson held the remains of pink eggshells on his hands while trying to avoid its contents running down his face. Clarke handed him a napkin before she was engulfed by Raven in a tight hug. "I can't believe I'm having a girl!" He glanced at Murphy, who also had tears in his eyes. The couple was happy with their children, but they had been longing for a girl to complete their bunch.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, pulling his wife to his side. "We're proud to announce that baby Olivia Murphy will be screaming her lungs out this summer, making us sleep-deprived and my wife a murder machine." Raven hit him playfully in the arm, but gave him a loving kiss, making the crowd cheer again.

Later that night, Bellamy lay in bed with Clarke when his alarm clock began to ring. She nudged him in the arm. "You have to get up, Madi will be awake soon." He yawned and stretched his arms, pulling her close. "I'm serious, Bell, if she doesn't find you in the living room, she'll come looking here." Bellamy opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Maybe we should let her find me." Clarke eyes widened and sat up slightly, supporting her weight on her elbow. "We've been together for a couple of months. I think it's time we let her know." He noticed her nervousness, but the idea had been on his mind for a while.

He had gotten home and had found both his girls in the kitchen. Madi was on a small stool, wearing an apron too big for her, her face smudged with flour. She had a spoon in her hand, her eyebrows furrowed and her tongue between her teeth very focused on the ingredients she was mixing in a bowl. Clarke was by her side, cutting some carrots, but she put the knife down when the child asked for her help. He leaned against the doorframe and watched as Clarke kissed the top of Madi's head, telling her how proud she was, before turning back to the carrots. If that wasn't happiness, what was?

"Are you sure," she asked in a whisper, "Really sure?"

"I am. Are you?" The question was a lot more complex than it seemed. They had talked about it and had reached an agreement about Madi: they had to be sure about their feelings and relationship before allowing the child to be part of it. By telling her that he was ready to share it with his daughter, meant much more than what it could pinpoint the exact moment she understood what he was saying: her eyes lit up in acknowledgment and her lips curved in a smile.

"I am." Her answer made his heart beat faster and he leaned forward, giving her a hungry kiss.

"How much time do you think we have?" His question was answered with a knock on the door. Clarke giggled and he rolled his eyes, sitting up on the bed. "Come in." Madi opened the door and peeked inside.

"Is Clarke sad again?" His girlfriend gave him a questioning look and he waved her away.

"No, she is not-" he patted the spot between him and Clarke- "Come here. We need to talk to you." Madi jumped on the bed and crawled between the two adults. "So, we have some news. Clarke and I are dating." She furrowed her eyebrows and Bellamy exchanged a funny glance with the older woman. "Clarke is my girlfriend."

"What?" Madi sat up in the bed. "Are you serious?" She looked between the couple, who gave her a nod without being able to hold back their smiles. "YES! YES! YES!" His daughter started to jump around on the bed, throwing her arms in the air. "I HAVE A MOTHER!"

"What?"

"No! Madi, no! Listen-" he grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him- "Sweetie, I know you love Clarke..."

"And I love you too," Clarke said, grabbing her arm, "But…" She glanced at Bellamy, who gave her an encouraging nod. "We can't start to see me as your mother."

"Why? You don't want to be my mother?" Madi's eyes filled with tears and the adults started to panic.

"Of course, I do. I would be honored to have such a beautiful and smart daughter like you."

"We're just starting to know each other, sweetie. These things take time, okay? We love you and we just need to have a little patience. Clarke is not going anywhere." Madi looked at her father, doubtful, before turning back to Clarke.

"So, what are we now?" If the moment wasn't so critical, Bellamy could've have laughed.

"We're friends," Clarke offered, with a smile.

"We were friends before."

"Well, now we are best friends," she explained, hoping that Madi would concede. But their luck had run out.

"I already have a best friend." Clarke gave him a desperate look and he decided to intervene.

"You can have two best friends." Madi stared at him, with her eyes filled with hurt. "Mads..."

"Why can't I have a mother? Gaia has a mother! Everyone in my class does!" Clarke and Bellamy shared a shocked look. Never, in a million years, were they expecting this reaction from Madi. The girl was usually a very calm child, always with a smile and very tender with the others. Bellamy had wondered if he should find her a therapist so that she could discuss any issues she had due to her mother's departure, but Madi had never shown any signs that she was suffering from it.

"Madi." He tried to reason with his daughter, but she got up and ran from the room. Clarke's expression was a mix of worry and pain and he felt his heartbreak. "I'll talk to her." His girlfriend nodded, letting herself fall back into the bed.

* * *

The next couple of days proved themselves to be one of the hardest challenges Bellamy faced as a father. His daughter refused to talk to Clarke and barely acknowledge her father's presence, keeping her answers to a short yes or no.

On Tuesday, she had gotten back from school crying and locked herself in her bedroom. Clarke was right behind her and dissolved into tears, telling him how Madi had been rude to her in class and she had to give the young girl detention.

"Maybe we rushed things," she suggested, between sobs. Bellamy shook his head.

"Madi is blowing this out of proportion. I'm going to talk to her." But that was easier said than done.

After banging on her bedroom door for about half an hour, Bellamy walked around the house to check if the young girl had escaped through the window. He cursed loudly when he saw it opened and, after climbing inside, no sign of his daughter. He also found her backpack missing along with her clothes trashed in the drawers.

"She ran away," he announced, walking into the kitchen. Clarke turned around, nearly dropping the mug in her hands.

"Oh my god! What are we going to do?" Bellamy grabbed his phone from the table and dialed his mother's number.

"Hi, mom."

"_She just got here._" He let out a shaky breath of relief and gave Clarke a nod.

"I'm on my way," Bellamy said, grabbing his coat.

"_I think you should give her some space, son. I'll talk to her. Do you mind if she skips school tomorrow?_" He hesitated, not sure if he should give in to his daughter's whims. However, Aurora was the kind of mother who rarely allowed her children to miss school and if she was willing to give Madi a break, she just had to have a good reason.

"Yeah. Sure-" he ran his hands through his hair- "But I'm picking her tomorrow."

"_Deal. Love you, sweetheart._"

"Love you too." As soon as he hung up the call, Clarke started to cry again and he found himself lost for words, so he just held her close to him, trying to hold the pieces of their broken hearts together.

* * *

"Where is she?" He asked the question as soon as he walked inside his mother's house. Last night had been torture for both him and Clarke. Knowing that Madi was suffering and angry at them, it took their sleep away and led to their first fight.

Clarke had a small panic attack, after which she locked herself in the bedroom, refusing to talk to him or rely on his comfort. So, Bellamy spent the night lying on the couch, shifting channels on TV, never focusing on anything. He almost missed work that day but had opted for going to school and attend his classes.

His girlfriend had left the house, uttering a quiet good morning, and refusing to look in his direction. Bellamy knew she was feeling guilty about Madi's behavior and had told him she would be moving out as soon as she could to avoid causing his daughter any more pain.

To be honest, Bellamy blamed himself. He had been the one to invite Clarke into his house, not considering what it would mean for his daughter, and pursued a relationship with the woman without preparing Madi for it. Clarke had gone from a stranger to a constant mother figure and for a little girl, who had already lost so much, it would mean more than they were willing to admit it.

"In your old bedroom," Aurora said and tried to stop her son from walking into the house, reading his expression the wrong way. "Bellamy, I think-"

"Mom, I love and respect you, but Madi is my daughter and I'm dealing this my way." He opened the bedroom door and found his daughter sitting on his bed, browsing his old comic books. Her head snapped up at the intrusion and her eyes immediately went hard when she saw her father. "Put your shoes on. We're going to a place." She opened her mouth to fight it, but Bellamy had enough. One thing was being mad at him, another was running away from home. Madi never gave him a reason to be stern as she had always been a bubbly, kind and polite young girl, but he had to put his foot down if he didn't want to set a precedent. "Get your shoes on. Now." Madi hesitated for a moment, before getting off the bed and grabbing her sneakers.

Bellamy grabbed her coat and offered it to her. Madi fetched the coat from his hands and walked out the door, her head held high, making him roll her eyes at her drama. Aurora was waiting from them at the front door, staring at her son sternly, but didn't give into Madi's pleading eyes.

He drove away from his mother's house and crossed the town, stopping in front of the big rusty gates.

"Where are we," Madi asked, letting the curiosity get the best of her stubbornness, "What is this place?"

"You'll see." He grabbed the bouquet in the passenger seat and got off the car. It was the first time in almost three years he was here. "Come on." Madi held his hand and he pushed the gates open, the creaky sound echoing along the empty street. Bellamy guided his daughter through a pat he hadn't done in a while but knew by heart. Every time he had been here, it was like an out of body experience. He had memorized every stone, flower, and candle. However, this time he was hyper-aware of his every step, how his daughter was watching everything with wide eyes. Bellamy knew this was a hard experience for her, but she finally reached an age that she could understand what had happened. At least, a part of it. "I should've brought you here a long time ago," he said, finally stopping and directing Madi's attention to the tombstone in front of them.

"Gina Martin," the young girl read and looked over to her father, "It's my mother."

"Yes," Bellamy weighted his words, wondering how he should explain Gina's departure. "Your mother was sick."

"How?" How do explain depression to a seven-year-old? How do you tell her that darkness wraps you up and takes away your happiness? How do you make her understand that it wasn't her fault even though she wasn't enough to make Gina fight it?

"I... I don't know how to explain it to you." Well, honesty was always the best policy, right? "She had depression. She was really, really sad."

"Why?"

"She just was-" Bellamy sighed- "Do you remember when we watched Harry Potter?" Madi nodded. "Do you remember the Dementors?"

"The big, scary, black monsters?" He gave her a small smile. "Harry was pretty scared off them."

"Yes. And do you remember what they did?" Made thought for a while, before her eyes filled with realization.

"They took away their happiness."

"Exactly. That's what depression is. Your happiness goes away." Madi looked at the tombstone, pensively.

"So, Mom wasn't happy?"

"She tried to be. She really did," Bellamy crouched in front of her daughter. "Your mother loved you, Madi. But this disease made her feel bad and she just..." Killed herself? Hanged herself in the woods? Willingly broke their hearts? "She just had to go."

"Where? Why couldn't she just stay with me?" Madi's voice, filled with pain, made his heartache. Maybe she was too young for this, maybe he should've just let it be. But something told him that if he avoided the subject for longer, Madi could feel cheated when she finally learned the truth. It had to be him to explain it to her. She had to hear it from her father, and he had to make her feel loved, opening a line of communication that would make things easier for the future.

"Because she had to go to God. Only God could help her." Bellamy was not the religious kind. Aurora made him and Octavia go to Sunday school and church, but over the years his faith evaporated. However, when his stepfather died, Aurora had explained to her youngest that her father had gone to meet God and that made Octavia more at peace with his death. That made him realize that death was easier for children if they believed their loved ones were taken care of and had a higher calling.

"So, she is with God, now?"

"Yes, she is." He let his daughter assimilate the news for a moment before approaching Clarke's name. "I know you love Clarke and you want her to be her mother, but things are not that easy," Madi turned her attention to him again. "Adults are complicated."

"I wish they wouldn't be."

"Me too," he confessed and reached for his daughter's hand, "I'll make you a deal. Whenever Clarke and I are ready to become a family, you'll be the first to know. Until then, let's just be happy and enjoy the moment," Madi stared at his father, before looking back to the tombstone to him again.

"Did you love Mom?"

"Of course. I loved her very much."

"And Clarke?" Her question took him by surprise. Did he love Clarke? He never questioned his feelings for Clarke in that way. He went from saving her to be her friend. Their relationship was fairly recent, and he was certain he cared for her. He enjoyed her company, her wit, and humor. He thought she was the most beautiful woman on the planet and spend his daydreaming about having her in his arms. He liked her. But loving her? He thought about all the times his heart would flutter on his chest at the mention of her name, or when his knees went weak at her sight. However, this was not the only thing.

He could also see themselves dating for a while, before getting down on one knee and proposing. He could clearly see her walking down the aisle towards him, wearing a white dress and Madi as the flower girl. He could imagine her big belly and a brother or sister for Madi. He could see a lifetime of adventure and happiness. "I do." And was the most absolute truth.

Madi beamed at him and engulfed him in a strong hug. "I love her, too."

* * *

When Bellamy and Madi got back home, Clarke was sitting in the backyard tending the small vegetable garden she had started with his daughter a couple of weeks ago. He could see her sad expression through the window and gave his daughter a nudge.

Taking hesitant steps, Madi walked outside and kneeled next to her, earning a surprised look for the older woman.

"I'm sorry," He heard his daughter say. Clarke sighed.

"I'm sorry too. I should've talked to you about dating your father," Madi shook her head.

"I talked to daddy and I'm happy. I want to be your best friend too," Clarke smile, but her eyes we filled with tears. "I really want you to be my mommy, but Daddy explained to me we have to wait a while."

"Yeah. I think that's for the best." Both of his girls started to tend to the garden again, in silence, and Bellamy decided to walk away, to give them space, but his daughter said something that made him stop dead on his tracks.

"I love you, Clarke. So does Daddy." His girlfriend looked back to the young girl, surprised.

"I love you too, Madi." Bellamy noticed how Clarke didn't touch his name and also did Madi.

"And daddy?" Clarke hesitated for a moment but gave her a small, shy small.

"I love your daddy too." The two shared a hug and Bellamy finally decided to leave them be.

_Clarke loved him. Clarke loved him. Clarke loved him._ Maybe the future he dreamed about wasn't as far as he thought. Smiling to himself, Bellamy went to the kitchen and decided to prepare a delicious celebratory dinner for both women of his life.

* * *

Madi watched as his father and Clarke exchanged a small kiss during dinner and couldn't hold back a smile of her own. All her life she had felt a hole in her heart, but ever since Daddy had brought Clarke home, it was gone. He could try to fool her all he wanted, but she knew that Clarke was her mother. And judging by the way Daddy looked at her, so did he.

* * *

**Hi my sweet readers,**

**First of all, I'm sorry it took me to long to update this story. Things are really bad with the COVID-19 here and lately, I haven't felt like writing.**

**But here it is! A new chapter! I hope to get the next chapter ready soon enough.**

**I don't know if there are any readers from Italy or Spain, but I just wanna tell you guys have been in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong. If you have lost someone to this horrible disease, I offer you my condolences.**

**I hope everyone is safe. And if need anything - and I mean anything - I'm here to talk. I'm also willing to send masks, disinfectants, and gloves for those in need. Just DM me and I'll do my best to make sure it gets to you.**

**Love you all,**

_Jane_


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys, missed me? Don't forget to read the author's note at the end!**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

_I'm not who you need to have _

_But I'm thankful for just being_

_The one you want to be with_

Bellamy watched his daughter run around with Oliver and Enzo, with Robbie toddling with uncertain steps behind them.

It was Arkadia's annual summer festival, where the whole town came together and celebrated the beginning of the new season and the end of school. Clarke was a little farther down the park, teaching a free Pilates class as a special offer from Indra's gym, while Octavia was a few meters next to her teaching Tai Chi to a group of children. Murphy was on the police stand which featured a shooting game along with Miller. Raven and Jackson were helping in the food stand with Aurora. So that left Bellamy on babysitting duty.

"Dude, this is awesome." A voice to his left reminded him that he was not alone. Gabriel, Clarke's friend from New York was on his third visit to Arkadia and he was having the time of his life. "We don't have this kind of thing in the city. People just ignore each other." Bellamy snickered. He'd liked Gabriel since he first came to visit Clarke.

_Clarke twisted her hands nervously as she stood outside the house._

_"Just calm down," Bellamy said, grabbing her by the shoulders._

_"I just can't. What if he was followed? What if Wells found out and hurt him? What if-"_

_"He's here," Bellamy announced, taking note of a black car stopping in the street. A tall man, with broad shoulders and tanned skin, exited and looked around, taking in his surroundings. When he saw the couple on the porch, he closed the car and walked toward them._

_Clarke shifted uncertain of her next move, before sprinting down the stairs and jumped into his arms, crying._

_"I can't believe you are here! I missed you so much!" She managed to get out, between the sobs. Gabriel kissed the top of her head._

_"I missed you too, Blondie." Bellamy let them enjoy their reunion, smiling softly at the sight of the emotional friends._

_Clarke had told him all about Gabriel. They had met during college, when some mutual friends set them up on a blind date and became fast friends, despite their different fields of study; Clarke was studying Arts and Gabriel was in law school. He was a couple of years older than her, but they got along nicely. But their friendship grew stronger when she helped during a dark time in his life._

_Gabriel was being stalked by his ex-girlfriend, Josephine. They had dated during high school but broke up after he moved to New York and the distance became too much for him. For a while, she had seemed okay with the break-up, but then she had shown up in New York and made his life a living hell._

_Clarke had been the one to help him through it all. With her mother's assistance, they were able to have Josephine committed into a mental care institution and she was now being held and receiving psychological support._

_In return, Gabriel had been Clarke's rock when Lexa passed away. He had done his best to make sure she wouldn't lose her mind. He was the only friendship Wells couldn't take from her. No matter how hard he tried._

"I think I should just move here," the other man said, his eyes roaming over the festivities, hesitating over Octavia, before turning back to Bellamy. Clarke's boyfriend tried to hide a smile. Ever since his first visit, Gabriel was smitten with his younger sister. He tried to cover his attraction with carefully placed remarks and flickering glances, but Bellamy had caught on it really quickly.

Octavia was also fond of the lawyer. She would try to mask her interest and shrugged it off, but Bellamy knew his sister better than everyone. She had only acted like this with her boyfriend Lincoln, who had left to join the army and tragically lost his life overseas. Yeah, the Blake siblings had no luck when it came to love.

"Yup, I also think you should leave your job in the best law firm on the East Coast and move to Arkadia." Gabriel gave him a sideways glance and Bellamy struggled to hide his laugh. It was so easy to rile the other man up. Gabriel looked all chill and fun, but deep down was an insecure man. He opened his mouth to assure him that he was joking, but a commotion caught their attention.

"What the-" Three big black SUVs were parked in the road, grasping everyone's interest and Bellamy couldn't help the queasy feeling in his stomach. A few men in dark suits exited the vehicles and one of them opened a door, allowing the person Bellamy hoped he'd never have to face, get out.

Wells Jaha surveyed the crowd, his black eyes landing on Clarke before nodding towards her. Two of the bodyguards moved to get her, making Bellamy snap out of his shock and run to help his girlfriend.

She had lost all the color in her face and tried with weak movements to resist the bodyguards. Octavia, who was the nearest person next to her, quickly helped the woman get her arms free, but the men weren't giving up. So, Octavia threw the first punch. Suddenly, it turned into a full brawl.

Bellamy and Gabriel had reached the girls and pulled Octavia to the side, taking her place fighting the bodyguards. Aurora was holding Clarke close to her while Raven kept Madi from running towards her father. Miller and Murphy tried to separate the fighting men, but Bellamy was seeing red. They were not taking his girlfriend away. He had promised her she wouldn't have to go back to Wells and he was keen on keeping his promise.

Madi's and Clarke's screams reached his ears and all he could think about was protecting his girls. Next to him, Gabriel also fought like a mad man. All the years of pent up frustration, watching his best friend get mistreated by her ex-boyfriend, finally being let out.

"ENOUGH!" The shout echoed in the park, throwing Bellamy out of balance and allowing the bodyguard to punch him in the jaw. Octavia was next to him in a second, holding her brother by the arm.

"Clarke..." she said next to his ear and his head snapped up. Wells had now reached her and was trying to pry her away from Aurora.

"NO! LET ME GO!"

"CLARKE!" Madi managed to escape Raven and ran towards the woman, kicking Wells in the shin with all the strength she could muster. The man cursed and forcibly grabbed the girl by the arm.

"You little -" Hearing his daughter's cry of pain, Bellamy took two strides and pulled Wells arm, making him turn and punching him in the face.

"Get off my daughter, you son of a bitch!"

A silence befell over the crowd, who watched in shock as Wells got up, wiped the blood from his face, and gave Bellamy a nasty look. "You're gonna regret that," he warned, before turning back to Clarke. "Let's go!" Clarke shook her head and leaned into Aurora, holding Madi protectively with her arms. "I've had enough with this tantrum, Clarke. Get in the car and let's go home!"

"I'm not going anywhere with you!"

"You're my fiancée! You're going where I told you too!" A flicker of anger flashed through Clarke's eyes and Bellamy noticed how she stood up straighter, pulling Madi behind her and letting go of Aurora's comfort.

"I'm nothing to you! I'm not your girlfriend! I'm not your fiancée! I'm not your punching bag! I'm not your property! At least not anymore!"

"Clarke," Wells pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "I'm losing my patience with you! GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!" He reached out to grab her, but Bellamy placed himself between them.

"She is not going anywhere with you." Wells looked from his face to Clarke's, before bursting out laughing.

"Who is this piece of crap? Your new fuck toy?" Bellamy flinched at the choice of words. His daughter was right behind him for God's sake!

"It doesn't concern you anymore," Clarke informed with a tremble in her voice.

"Yes, it does. You're mine! Now, let's go!" Wells tried to reach for her again, but Bellamy slapped his hand away. "Look here, hillbilly. You fucked the city girl, now it's time for her to get back to the real world."

"With you? I don't think so." With a frustrated growl, Wells made one last attempt to get to Clarke, but Bellamy pushed him away. "You want to get her? You have to go through me."

"And me," Octavia said, stepping next to her brother.

"Yeah, and me too." Gabriel glanced over at his friend, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Oh, don't forget me." Raven went to Clarke and held her hand. Miller, Jackson, and Murphy also took their place behind Bellamy, pushing Clarke further away from her ex-boyfriend. Suddenly, it seemed that all the town stood between Wells and Clarke. Even the younger kids in Clarke's class gave Wells a nasty look. The lawyer looked around in disbelief. Even his bodyguards took an almost unnoticeable step back.

"Hey," Wells turned around to find Becca smiling to him. She held up a flash drive for him to take.

"What's this," He asked, taking it from her hands.

"You should look at it on your flight back home. If you come near Clarke again, everything that's in there will reach all the media in the country. And I've got a feeling that won't be in your best interest." Bellamy saw how a speck of fear crossed Wells' eyes. He turned around, giving Clarke a murderous glance.

"You're fired!" He pointed at Gabriel, who simply shrugged before smiling at Bellamy.

"How is the lawyer market in Arkadia?"

"Non-existent," he answered with a smirk. Gabriel clapped his hands.

"Great! I'll be a pioneer!" He looked back at Wells. "I'll get my stuff on Monday."

"Sir," one of the bodyguards said pleadingly. Noticing there was nothing he could do, Wells adjusted his tie, straightened his shoulders, and turned.

When the SUVs finally disappeared, the crowd let out a relieved sigh and Bellamy turned, running towards Madi and Clarke.

The older woman was kneeling in front of his daughter, holding her face and wiping the tears away.

"My sweet girl, you were so brave," she said.

Bellamy let himself fall next to them and pulled his girls into his arms. "You're okay. You're okay," he muttered, holding them close. Clarke let out a choked sob.

When he released his hold, taking in their faces. The two women of his life. These two were the reason he got up in the morning with a smile on his face. They were his family. Even Clarke, who he had known for so little, had a huge place in his heart. He realized that waiting for the right moment meant nothing. He loved Clarke. He wanted to be in her life forever.

"I love you," he confessed, gazing into her eyes, a hand on her cheek.

It took a moment for the words to sink in, but when they did, Clarke beamed at him. "I love you too." They shared a soft, chaste kiss. Madi looking at the couple with a wide grin.

"Well, that's something I never thought I would see." The trio glanced up, noticing Octavia, Gabriel, Aurora, and their friends staring at the little family with a smile on their faces.

"Aunty O!" Madi ran to her aunt. "Did you see me? I was just like you!"

"Yes, you were." Octavia couldn't hide her proud smile, while the little girl reenacted, with exaggerated details, her kick.

Stifling a laugh, Bellamy looked back at Clarke. The smile she gave him held the promise of a lifetime.

* * *

Bellamy got out of the car, whistling a joyful tune. It had been almost a month since Wells had paid then a visit and everything was better than ever.

Clarke was at peace and constant worry on her face had disappeared. They weren't afraid to expose their relationship anymore and everyone in town was just in love with their story. Everywhere they went, people would ask them how they had met, how they had fallen in love, and when was the wedding. The first time, they heard the question, Bellamy panicked, thinking Clarke would freak out, but she just smiled and said "Whenever Bellamy decides to ask."

That's how _the plan_ started.

He had gone with Miller and Murphy to find the perfect ring in TonDC, talked to his mother, and was now trying to decide how was the best way to approach the subject with his daughter. He wanted Madi to feel included, but his selfish side was screaming for him to not share the moment with anyone but Clarke.

So, by now, the ring would be safely hidden away in desk at school.

Clarke had also insisted on asking Becca to dinner to thank her for everything. After all, it had been her idea to hire a private detective and her friend Roan proved to be extraordinary at his work.

When Bellamy and Clarke had seen the evidence he had gathered, they were shocked at first. Clarke had even thrown up, feeling disgusted with herself for dating someone like him. In that tiny flash drive, there was proof of human trafficking, prostitution, bribes, murder, and many other things that Bellamy chose to repress.

They were discussing the possibility of handing everything to the police. And they would do it. The _needed_ to do it. They couldn't just let the Jahas get away with so many crimes.

But they were biding their time, waiting to let the dust settle. They had to think about Madi and how everything could come crashing down on her.

Wells was still mad at Clarke, furious at Bellamy, and was probably planning a way to get back at them. For now, they would be keeping the documents to themselves and lay low.

It was harder to be happy and fulfilled when they knew so many people were suffering, but Bellamy was kind in his own bubble, his only thoughts on the future.

He unlocked the front door, calling out to his girlfriend. It was date night and Gabriel and Octavia had volunteered to take care of Madi.

It was no surprise when they started dating. True to his word, Gabriel had flown back to New York, cleared out his office, sold his apartment, and opened his practice in Arkadia. Becca had immediately hired him as the school's official lawyer as did Indra. According to them, it was nice to have someone who understood the laws so close by. To Octavia, was just wonderful having the man she had grown to care about in the same town as her.

"Clarke," he called but got no answer. Bellamy placed his stuff on the kitchen table, wondering where his girlfriend had gone. The stove was on and he turned it off, eyeing its contents. The pasta was overcooked as was the meat, he stirred it and was relieved that at least nothing was burned. Clarke was careful with her cooking, her meals always being nothing but tasteful. Where the hell was she?

A bad feeling settled in his stomach and the hairs on his neck stood on end. He rushed to the bedroom. The bed was made and the pants he had left on the floor that morning where now folded in the chair. Nothing seemed to be out of place. Then, he took a quick peek in his daughter's bedroom. The toys were put away and there was freshly folded laundry on the bed. Finally, with a shaking hand, he opened the bathroom door.

And his world came crashing down.

The first thing he noticed was the red water. Why the hell was the water red? He knew the plumbing was kind of old, but it hadn't shown any signs of being any problem. His eyes drifted to the bathtub, slowly, and a scream was caught in his throat.

Clarke was sitting inside, fully dressed, her eyes closed. It seemed like she was sleeping. But the wrist hanging out to the side proved him that was not the case. A huge uneven slash was pouring out blood and he stared at it in shock.

Finally realizing what was happening, Bellamy rushed to his girlfriend and pulled her out of the water, not caring how his shirt became wet and lay her on the floor. He touched her cheek, feel how it was still warm. Not wasting any time, he reached for a couple of towels and tried to stop the bleeding the best he could. With shaking hands, he reached for his phone and called an ambulance.

Then, he waited, kneeling next to his girlfriend, pressing her wounds, and a pressing pain his heart and lungs. For the first time in years, Bellamy prayed and begged for God to not take away Clarke for him.

* * *

**Hi my sweet nerds,**

**How are you doing?**

**I'm sorry for being AWOL these past few months. Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away (not due to COVID) and it was hard to watch him go. I was feeling down as he got sicker and I didn't feel like writing.**

**This pandemic also made things at work unbearable. I work at a travel agency and things are really dark for us. My head has been all over the place and I had to take some time to collect my thoughts.**

**However, things have been better the last couple of days and I've felt the need to write again.**

**I'm not happy with season 7 and I'm actually disappointed with how they are handling things. I think they are trying to do too much with too little time. What about you? Have you watched the last season yet?**

**Finally, I'm addressing for the first and last time the Arryn/Bob scandal that has been all over the media.**

**I will never stand with the abuser. My aunt and cousins were abused by my uncle for almost 30 years and it was a dark time for my family when it came to light. When my uncle went to court, he confessed to all the bad things he did, threatened to hurt my father and grandfather, and until this day keeps trying to psychological pressure us to help him get back to his wife.**

**However, we haven't heard Bob's side of the story and it's wrong to threaten him, bully or even say he and Eliza deserved to lose their child. Until Bob or Elisa address the accusations, I won't take any sides. When they come forward or I'm presented with proof that Arryn's words are true - I'm not saying their not, I'm just waiting for the other side -, I'll take my stand.**

**The only thing I don't doubt is that there was probably some cheating involved. I mean, I'm not an idiot. He ended his relationship in February and married in May. Something was up. I do not support that kind of behavior and, if he and Eliza haven't apologized to Arryn, they should do it.**

**Might I remind you that a couple of years ago, Johnny Depp was accused by Amber Heard - his wife - of domestic abuse? The fans went nuts and even did a petition to have him removed from the Fantastic Beasts franchise. He endured years of cyberbullying until it came to the public that he was actually the victim.**

**With that being said, I won't tolerate any negative comments towards Bob and Eliza in my stories. If you don't stan them anymore, if you chose to associate the actors to the characters or if you've been cyberbullying them taking into account only one side of the story, please keep those thoughts to yourself. I won't take it to heart if you unfollow me or my stories.**

**Thank you.**

**Love,**

_Jane_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_I'm not perfect, I can see_

_But I promise to stay_

_And I'll show you_

Bellamy walked into the hospital with Octavia in tow. He nodded to the nurses in the reception and immediately walked towards the visiting area.

It had been three days since he found Clarke and she had still to wake up. On one side, he was fearful of the moment they confronted each other. He needed answers and hopefully, she would be able to give them to him. The audio she had left in his voice mail didn't help in connecting the dots in his head.

"Mr. Blake!" Bellamy turned, finding Dr. Melendez walking towards him in a calm step. However, the strain in his face made Bellamy squeamish.

"Dr. Melendez," he greeted.

"I'm glad I caught you." Octavia leaned closer to her brother. "Clarke is awake."

His stomach did a flip and, for the first time in days, his lips twisted in a smile.

"That's amazing!" Noticing the doctor's worried expression, Bellamy frowned. "Isn't it?"

"Mr. Blake, I'm afraid that Ms. Griffin had prohibited all visitors besides her parents."

"What?" Octavia's scream echoed his own thoughts. What the hell? Why was Clarke refusing to see him?

"Ms. Griffin woke up just before midnight and requested to talk to her mother. Dr. Abby Griffin arrived at dawn," Dr. Melendez explained, watching Bellamy's lack of reaction with a worried expression.

"I don't understand. Clarke is my girlfriend," Bellamy shook his head and turned. "I want to talk to her!"

Dr. Melendez quickly cut his way. "I'm afraid I can't allow that. And if you insist, I'll have to ask security to remove from the building."

"Are you insane? Clarke is my girlfriend! She just went through a horrible experience and she is not thinking straight! I need to see her!" Bellamy tried to walk past the doctor, but the man kept cutting his way. Octavia also tried to pass, but a nearby nurse had grabbed her arm before she went too far. Suddenly, the hall was filled with the screams of his sister.

"Mr. Blake," a voice called, making Bellamy look behind Dr. Melendez. A man in his early fifties, with bushy eyebrows and a well-tailored suit, watched him with curiosity. "I'm..."

"I know who you are," Bellamy cut him off, crossing his arms over the chest. He had only seen pictures, but Marcus Kane was unmistakable.

Kane's lips pressed into a thin line, being obvious his displeasure for Bellamy's posture. "Great. That will save us time in introductions," he adjusted his posture, making clear in his stance that he would not be argued with. "Clarke is awake."

"I know. I've been-"

"She doesn't want to see you." His eyes flickered to Octavia. "None of you. We've talked as a family and we've decided it's best for her to go back to New York." Bellamy opened his mouth to argue, but Kane held his hand up, making sure he wasn't interrupted. "Clarke will be committed, on her request, to a mental care facility, where she will be overseen by professionals and take time to heal herself."

"And us?" Bellamy asked, his voice weak.

"There is no_ us_ anymore, Mr. Blake. Clarke will go back to her family and you'll move on with your life here." Octavia placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm aware that she has a job in Arkadia as a schoolteacher. I'll make contact with the school and make arrangements for her termination." It all sounded so unreal to him. The life Clarke had built, the life they had built, the last months was being taken care of like it meant nothing. It was like a mistake they could sweep under the rug. "I've also been informed that she has been giving classes part-time at a gym. I'll make-"

"Don't bother. I'll tell Indra," Octavia said, squeezing Bellamy's shoulder with unnecessary force. They had become friends. Raven and his sister had welcomed Clarke into their little group and it was being painful for her to hear those things.

"Great! Well, that's taken care of," Bellamy had to resist the urge to punch the man. He was talking about their lives like they meant less than nothing. To Marcus Kane, their feelings and pain didn't matter. "In my name and my wife's name, we would like to thank you for your hospitality." With a short nod of his head, Kane was gone.

The tension in the hall was palpable. Bellamy was staring at the wall in front of him, Octavia watched Kane's retreating back and Dr. Melendez shifted uncomfortably.

After a moment, his sister moved. "Bell-" Hearing his name was like a wake-up call. He straightened up his shoulders and turned around, walking out of the hospital with another word.

With his heart heavy on his chest, the tears threatening to fall down, and the anger running down his veins, Bellamy though back to all the moments he shared with Clarke. He remembered how she would cuddle with Madi on the couch watching a movie, how she tucked her feet under his legs when she was cold, how her lips twisted in a smile whenever she was trying to be mad at him. He thought about the way she always promised to be there for them, no matter what; how not even Wells would be able to stand between them.

Lies. All lies. Clarke never intended to stay with them. They were just her safe boat, her escape plan. Well, screw her.

Bellamy had promised himself that, after Gina, he would focus solely on his daughter. He would work his ass off to make sure she had everything she needed, that she would never go hungry or cold. He had decided a long ago that in his heart there was only place for one person. He had let Clarke in and it had been a mistake. From now on, his heart was closed again. Forever.

"Bellamy," Murphy called, trying to grab his friend's attention. The duo was helping Jackson plan Miller's surprise birthday party, but - like it had been the last couple months - Bellamy's mind was eons away.

"Sorry man," he apologized, focusing his eyes on the list in front of them. "What were you saying?" Murphy put the pen down on the table and exchanged a worried glance with his wife. Ever since Clarke left without a goodbye, Bellamy had become a robot, going through with is daily life, smiling and talking, but there was no feeling behind it. It seemed like he just didn't care anymore.

"Have you been sleeping," Murphy asked, taking in the dark circles under his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Last night was too hot. I've been thinking I should get an AC for the house. I mean-" He kept rambling on and on. Murphy watched him closely while his wife sighed and walk towards the table.

"Bell, I know you don't-" Bellamy's head snapped up, his eyes filled with anger.

"You're right, I don't."

"But you should talk about it," she insisted. Bellamy slammed his fist into the table, pushing his chair back and getting up.

"I don't want to talk about it!" A silence fell upon the living room as Bellamy and Raven stared at each other. Murphy looked between the two uncomfortably. He knew his wife well enough to not meddle, but he was worried about Bellamy. Due to Clarke, they had left the past behind them and became friends. Murphy cared about him and didn't want to lose that. "Sorry, Murph. I've got to go."

"I thought Madi was with your mother tonight," The other man pointed out, getting up.

"I'm just no in the mood anymore. I'll call you tomorrow." Without another word, Bellamy grabbed the car keys from the table and left.

* * *

Bellamy spent the next couple of hours driving around Arkadia and its woods. For the last couple of months going back home was mostly like a task. He would have to face everything he had lost in a blink of an eye and, no matter how hard he tried, it was getting more difficult dealing with Clarke's absence.

He shouldn't feel like that. She chooses to leave. She didn't want them. She didn't want him. It had all been a lie. But his heart couldn't grasp the idea and every day begged for her. It was tiresome longing for someone who didn't want him back.

When he first got back from the hospital, he found it painful to face his daughter. So, he had let Octavia take the lead. However, his sister couldn't bring herself to break her niece's heart and told her that Clarke had to leave to get treatment. He knew that sooner or later he would have to tell her that the woman she cared so much for wasn't coming back, but this was it was easier to deal with his heartbreak first.

Sighting, Bellamy pulled into his driveway. He watched the dark house with tired eyes. He missed coming home and seeing full of light and life.

"Hey, Bellamy!" A voice called and he turned to see Tor Lemkin, his neighbor signaling him. Bellamy really didn't want to deal with whatever neighborhood problem existed. But Tor had always been a good neighbor and friend, he couldn't just turn his back.

"Hey, Tor. How's it going?"

"It's good, it's good," The man looked nervous and was shifting in his place. That picked Bellamy's interest. "Look, I've been trying to talk to you for a couple of days now." Oh. Madi had been staying with Aurora and Octavia more than normal and he used his time to avoid getting back to the house. "A few days ago, Reese was taking over dinner how your daughter has been really sad because Clarke is gone and -" Great! Was his neighbor trying to give a pep talk? He was not in the mood for that. "So, we were trying to explain how Clarke was sick and she asked if it was because of the man." That caught Bellamy's attention.

"Man? What man?"

"That's what we asked. At first, we thought she was talking about that day in the park, but then she said that on the day -" Tor fought to find the right words. "The day the ambulance came to get Clarke, Reese had been playing outside and saw a couple of SUVs parked in front of your house. Apparently, the man of the park went inside for a while." The wheels in Bellamy's head started to turn and he reached out to grab Tor's arm.

"Are you sure? Is she telling the truth?" Tor jumped at his reaction, but there was no sign of anger in him.

"Yeah. Reese might look a little distracted, but she is no liar."

Bellamy ran his hands through his hair. "This changes everything," he mumbled. "Thank you, Tor! You have no idea how much that means to me!" Without another word, he ran inside the house, leaving his confused neighbor behind. He walked to his room and opened the closet. Clarke's clothes were still in the hangers as he still hadn't had the heart to put them away.

Pushing everything out of the way, he punched the code on the safe box that was hidden in the back and quickly started to throw everything out. His and Madi's passports, his daughter's birth certificate, and other documents he had deemed important long ago found a place on the floor. That left Bellamy staring at the empty safe box completely dumbfounded. The flash drive with all the information the detective had collected for them was gone. How could he have been that stupid?

His phone began ringing and, without thinking twice, he took the call.

"_Bellamy?_"

"Becca," He called, surprised to hear the strain in her voice. Had she been crying?

"_Oh Bellamy. A friend of mine from LA just called. Roan, the detective that got us that information -_" Bellamy held his breath. "_He's gone! They found his body in the desert yesterday. He had been missing for two months!_"

"What? How did no one report him missing?"

"_He was working on a case and it was not unusual for him to disappear for a while._" The wheels in Bellamy's head finally clicked. Wells did that. He had tracked down Roan, killed him and, when that wasn't enough, he had come after Clarke.

"Where are you? I'm coming to you."

"_I'm still at school._"

"Give me five minutes," he hung up and looked around. His eyes stopped at his bedside table, where the ring he had purchased for Clarke has safely hidden away. She had left him, willingly, but there was something more. His heart kept telling him something was wrong, but his head refused to listen. Well, now that he knew the truth, there was no way he was letting Wells get away with it.

* * *

"Please tell me I'm not crazy," he begged to Murphy and Miller.

On his way to Becca, he had called his friends and sister to meet with them. Bellamy had told them about his conversation with Tor, the missing flash drive, and Roan's death. They had listened to him attentively and were know lost in deep thought. Feeling himself drown, he waited impatiently for their opinion. Murphy and Miller were police officers, they certainly had a more critical view of the case.

"It makes sense," Murphy finally said, looking over at his partner. Miller nodded.

"Wells knew we had evidence of something. He got scared when Becca showed him the flash drive."

"He found Roan, probably through Clarke's bank records, interrogated him and decided to shut him up for good."

"Then he came after the only loose end: Clarke."

"Probably threatened her."

"Or Bellamy and Madi." Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, Jackson, and Becca watched them exchange ideas, trying to keep up their train of thought. The duo looked at them with a smug smile and gave Bellamy a reassuring nod.

"Why did he stop with Clarke? I mean, he knew that we knew. Why hasn't he come after us," Octavia asked, making Miller shrug.

"He probably thought that without her, we wouldn't have any reason to go after him," Murphy explained. "She was the big connection and if she had taken her life, there was no reason to suspect foul play."

"What do we do now," Raven voiced what they were all thinking. Bellamy turned to Becca.

"Do you still have your copy?" She nodded and opened the cabinet behind her desk, putting in the safe box's code and taking out a flash drive. He grabbed it out of her and looked over to Octavia.

"I'm going to New York." The announcement was met with silence. Murphy and Raven exchanged a worried glance and he nodded.

"I have a few days off. I'm coming with you." Bellamy opened his mouth to argue, but the other man didn't give him a chance. "I'm not letting you do this on your own. If you need back up, I'm there."

"Are you sure you want to do this," Jackson asked with a doubtful expression. "Bellamy, Clarke-"

"Look, I know Clarke chose to leave. She could've told us the truth and we would've helped, but-" he took in a deep breath. "I love her. I love her so much and I need her to know that. I need her to know that I forgive her and that I want her to come back. She'll be safe now." Without waiting for a reply, he turned to Octavia. "I need you to take care of Madi. Tell her I'm going to a conference or something."

His sister bit her bottom lip, obviously uncomfortable with what his request meant. "Bell, Wells is dangerous. I don't think that's a very good idea."

"He fucked with my family. He's the one that should be afraid."

* * *

**Hey guys!**

**I know, I know! A new chapter? So soon?**

**I'm awesome and I've got an awesome beta too!**

**Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that the next chapter will be the last one. I'll write an epilogue to wrap things up, but that's it for Take me as I am.**

**I'm in a place in my life where I'm not okay to write such strong themes and I want to take a break from it. I have a new idea for fanfiction and I'll try to give you guys a little preview in the epilogue.**

**Finally, I want to address Naya Rivera's sudden and tragic death. I know she doesn't belong to The 100's fandom, but I know how much she meant to many people around the world.**

**I come from a small town where, in 2020, it's still a huge scandal when someone comes out as gay, or bisexual, or transexual. So, as you can imagine, in 2009, it was much worse. It was normal for me hearing people use the word faggot as easily as they said "HI". _Glee_ helped me understand this. It helped me accept people from all races, religions and sexualities. Naya's character was a huge part of that.**

**When, in 2011, I became roommates with a lesbian, I became a fast friend with her. Many people around me wanted me to move or ignore her and stay away. It was like they were afraid of her doing something to me. Nowadays, she still is one of my best friends. I love her with all my heart. I know how hard she fought to come out and to have her family accept her girlfriend. ****It was Naya's character that helped her accept herself and not seek anyone else's opinion. **

**With that being said, I send my deep condolences to Naya's family and friends. But, most of all, I wish her son all the love in the world. May his mother's light shine bright on him. I hope that someday he learns how she gave her life to save his and sees her as the hero she was.**

**Be kind to others. Be respectful. Even when you don't understand, try to do it. Spread the love in your hearts.**

**Like I send mine to you.**

_Jane_


	11. Chapter 11

**I want to dedicate this final chapter to **_Book by Em92_**, not only because she is my most dedicated reader, who always takes time to review my stories, but also because she is a survivor. I'm so fuckin' proud of her!**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

_Take me as I am_

_Just as I am_

_I won't even ask you for more even if you go_

_I swear, here I am_

_Just as I am_

_I will always give more_

_Even if you go_

Bellamy watched the Jaha, Kane & Associates' building with a heavy heart. He knew this was going to be hard but being faced with the moment was even more difficult.

"I don't know if I can do this," he admitted. He could sense Murphy and Gabriel's uneasiness being him.

When he was home packing for his trip, Octavia had marched in with Gabriel in tow. The lawyer told him that he wasn't doing that without him and, when Bellamy tried to argue, he explained his need to face his past and bring justice for Clarke. He wouldn't budge and Bellamy figured out he needed all the support he could get. So, that's how the three of them ended up on a two-day road trip.

The silence in the car had been overwhelming until Murphy did his best effort to distract the other two from their task. With witty remarks and snarky comments, the police officer managed to make the 48 hour-long drive into an easy one. For a moment, Bellamy almost forgot that he was about to confront Wells Jaha and allowed himself to believe he was on a real road trip with his friends.

But reality came crushing in when he first saw the building.

"I know it's hard, but we always said we'd bring this information public. Sooner is better than later," Murphy offered.

"Bellamy, don't do this for Clarke. Do this for you, for your family, for your daughter. But most of all, do it for all the people the Jahas have hurt. Do it for Roan who gave his life to protect your secret; Do it for Becca who just lost her friend." It wasn't much, but Gabriel's words gave him the courage that he needed to start moving again.

He walked across the busy street and entered the building, marching towards the receptionist with an unyielding expression on his face.

"May I help you," she asked with a smile.

"We would like to speak with Wells Jaha."

"Mr. Jaha is in a meeting. Would you like to wait for him?" Murphy snickered while Bellamy's heart clenched. If Wells knew they were waiting for him, he would remove them from the building, probably even call the police and that would be it. His daughter, sister, mother, friends. All of them would be at Well's mercy.

Bellamy hesitated, looking around in desperation when a picture caught his attention and he smiled. "How about Marcus Kane? Is he around?"

"Mr. Kane is in his office. I can-"

"Let's go," Gabriel said, walking towards the elevator. The receptionist gasped in recognition and tried to call them back, but she was too late. When the elevator doors closed behind them, she was already calling security.

"Dude, if I'm arrested," Murphy warned and Bellamy gave him a weak smile. He knew it was hard for him to go against the law. When they were younger, Murphy would jump at the opportunity of doing something illegal. However, he was now a police officer, a father of two, and a married man. He just had too much to lose.

"Just stay in the hallway," Gabriel said. The elevator dinged and the trio rushed out, running after Gabriel, who opened the second door on the left without knocking.

He and Bellamy barged inside, scaring Kane who was sitting behind the desk. The older man widened his eyes when he saw who it was and got up, buttoning the button of his jacket. "What is going on, Mr. Blake?"

"Mr. Kane. Nice to see you again, sir." And he meant it. The two had met only once and, despite the situation, Bellamy had taken a liking to the man. "I want -"

"Look, if you're looking for Clarke, she's still out of town in the clinic and she doesn't want to see you." Bellamy tried to ignore the pain in his chest. He wasn't doing this only for Clarke.

"That's for her to decide after we talk," Bellamy said. "You seem like a man who loves justice," he started, taking the flash drive out of his pocket. "I have something you need to see. May I?" Kane hesitated for a moment before turning his laptop towards Bellamy. Sighing with relief, Bellamy plugged in the drive and opened the first document with shaky hands. His body always shook whenever he saw or thought about it.

Kane moved forward, his eyes frozen on the screen. Bellamy wondered if he should open another one, but the lawyer had taken to himself to keep scrolling. His eyes widened with every new thing he faced.

"Where did you get this," he asked, not looking over at them.

"It was a PI that your step-daughter hired."

"He was murdered a few days before Clarke tried to take her own life," Gabriel explained and Bellamy was thankful for his intervention. "We don't think Clarke's attitude was an accident." Kane's head snapped up.

"You think Wells hurt my daughter?" Bellamy couldn't hold back a small smile at the term. It was obvious that Kane cared deeply for Clarke.

"If he didn't do it himself, he might have coerced her." Both lawyers exchanged a knowing glance before Kane turned back to the laptop.

"This is... I have no words."

"Mr. Kane -"

"She is in the New Hope Clinic. It's about a half-hour drive," Kane said, turning back to Bellamy. "Bellamy, I don't know how to thank you for this. I've been involved with criminals for decades and I didn't even have a clue. I'll make sure you, Clarke, all of these people will get justice," he promised. With a short nod of his head, Bellamy left the office. Gabriel changed a few words with Kane before joining Bellamy and Murphy outside.

"I already have the address on the GPS. We should go." The trio started to move towards the elevator when a door to their right opened and Wells walked out. He stopped, staring at Bellamy in shock. There was a tense moment in the hallway before Bellamy punched Wells in the face.

"What the hell are you doing," An older man with dark skin tone, bald head, and a goatee asked, reaching down to help Wells. Bellamy recognized him from TV as Thelonious Jaha and was immediately disgusted by him. "Call security," he ordered to someone behind him.

"That won't be necessary." Kane came out of his office and faced his friend. "The police are on the way."

"Oh, Marcus. Thank you so much." Thelonious gave Bellamy a triumphant glance. "You think you can come here and hurt my son? I'll make sure you have a field trip to the nearest jail."

"The police is not for them, Thelonious," Kane explained before Bellamy had the chance to reply. "It's for you and Wells."

"What... what are you talking about?" The color had been drained from Thelonious face.

"I know everything." The two older men stared at each other for a while, the fear evident not only on Thelonious but on Wells too. They knew that they wouldn't stand a chance against Kane. They could try and bully people like Bellamy, who had too much loose and almost nothing to fight with. But Marcus Kane was a powerful, rich man who wouldn't stand their abuse. "Weren't you going somewhere," Marcus asked without looking at Bellamy.

"Yes, sir." Without another word, Bellamy, Gabriel, and Murphy left, leaving the Jaha's at the mercy of Marcus Kane's anger.

* * *

He watched as she drew her troubles away.

The trip to the clinic had been done in a much lighter mood. Murphy felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, Gabriel was finally at peace after facing his past and Bellamy was feeling hopeful for the first time in months. When they walked to the front desk, the receptionist smiled before informing them that Marcus had called beforehand and had given permission to allow one of them to talk to Clarke.

Bellamy had tried to give his spot to Gabriel, hoping that by seeing her friend Clarke would be more receptive to see him after, but the lawyer had been firm. He was the one who had to see and talk to her. So, Bellamy let the nurse lead him through the hallways, out in the garden and near the lake where Clarke was sitting, watching the landscape and drawing what she captured.

"Clarke," he called. Her head turned in a snap and her eyes widened in surprise. It was obvious she was not expecting him.

"Go away, Bellamy." The nurse took a step forward in his direction to fulfill her wish, but Bellamy held out a hand and shook his head.

"I'm not going anywhere." Clarke got up and started to walk away. He grabbed her arm, feeling the scars under his fingers. "I know. I know what he did, Clarke. I know why you did it." She turned, her eyes filled with tears.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He almost laughed at her desperate attempt to cling to a secret that was no more.

"I've handed the evidence to your stepfather. he knows everything and he was the one who sent me here," Clarke shook her head as if she was trying to not let herself believe in his words. "Clarke, it over. Wells can't hurt you anymore."

"He can! He will! He will kill you and Madi! Like he killed Roan," she finally pulled her arm from his grasp. "I - I- I- I can't. It's my fault! I did what he asked! He - He - He will come for you. I - I have to stop him!" Bellamy watched in horror as Clarke clung to her chest, her breath out of control. Her legs bucked beneath her and she let herself fall into the grass. Was this a panic attack? He had never witnessed it and it was a horrible sight.

"Sir, I need you to leave," the nurse asked reaching forward to help Clarke. Bellamy hesitated for a second, before starting to walk away.

Was Clarke broken beyond repair? Was she so far lost that she would never go back to him? He had tried to hate her, to forget how she had broken her heart and her promises. but he couldn't. He loved her, he wanted her by his side, he wanted her to be Madi's mother and maybe have other children; He wanted to propose, watch her walk down the aisle and say _I do_. He wanted to grow old by her side.

What she had done, she had done out of love. Unlike Gina, Clarke tried to end her life to save theirs. She didn't want to leave them, she felt like she needed to do it. Whatever Wells had told her, she could only think of one solution. Clarke tried to kill herself for them and he couldn't just give up.

Turning back, he reached Clarke in three strides. He knelt next to her, ignoring the nurse's orders and her pleas, grabbing her face in his hands and locking their eyes. "I love you. I love you more than anything. I want you by my side and I'll wait for you as long as it takes," he promised. Her blue orbs searched his eyes for something, and he tried to reassure her with a look. "Wells can't hurt you anymore. He can't hurt us, " Bellamy wiped a tear that had escaped and smiled softly. "I don't care how long it takes for you to get better, but whenever that happens, come home. We'll be waiting for you. Whenever you're ready, come home, Clarke." He pressed a soft kiss on her temple, before getting up and leaving her behind.

He meant it. It didn't matter how long it took her; he would always wait for her. Clarke was his soulmate, the love of his life. Fate had put her in his way, and they couldn't allow themselves to cross its plan. Bellamy knew that this was the right move. She was coming home. He could feel it in his heart.

* * *

"Daddy, look!" Madi called where she was petting a huge puppy. Miller and Jackson smiled with glee, watching the girl play with her birthday present. They had requested Bellamy's permission to offer the girl the animal and he couldn't bring himself to say no. His daughter needed something to make her smile. She had been missing Clarke more and more every day and, after two weeks, Bellamy was starting to lose all the hope he had when leaving the clinic.

"What should we call him," he asked, trying to push those thoughts away. It was his daughter's eighth birthday and he was going to enjoy himself.

Aurora had baked a huge cake, decorated with flowers and butterflies. Octavia and Gabriel had bought her a new bike - DADDY! I have a big girl's bike! - and she had hinted to Gabriel that she was ready to be a flower girl at her aunt's wedding. It had been too much fun to watch the lawyer blush and struggle to come up with an answer. Raven and Murphy had come by, even though Raven was almost to pregnant to move. They had gifted Madi a Harry Potter cloak and wand, which she had immediately put on. All this excitement had allowed the girl to momentarily forget -

"Clarke?" His head snapped up at his daughter's voice. Was he dreaming? Was he dreaming about the party? Maybe he was still sleeping, waiting for Madi to excitedly jump on his bed.

"Happy birthday, sweetie." Madi got up and ran towards the woman. Clarke engulfed Madi in a tight hug, taking a deep breath and allowing a few tears to escape. Bellamy got up from his chair, his mouth in a thin line, still no believing his eyes.

"Dude," Miller whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. The soft-touch brought him back and Bellamy realized this was real. Clarke was really there, was hugging Madi, and was looking to him through the tears.

"You've come to my party," Madi exclaimed, pulling back from the hug, a huge smile on her face.

"I would never miss it! I even brought you a present," Clarke handed her a small box and the child opened it, gasping at its content.

"Can you help me," Madi asked, turning around and giving her dad a blinding smile. He watched was Clarke took the necklace from the box and placed it on Madi, clasping it behind her neck. Bellamy noticed two big hearts connected by a smaller one and, squinting his eyes, he read their names in each one of the hearts.

"Bellamy," she called, and his eyes moved back to her. She was thinner, her eyes had dark bags under them, and she had cut her hair shoulder length, but she was still his Clarke. She gave him a small smile and he felt his legs move on their own accord. He noticed on the corner of his eyes, Octavia calling Madi so they could have some privacy. But, as he reached her, he felt the words escape him.

They stood, staring at each other, trying to find the right words. He searched her eyes, looking for signs of doubt, fear, or pain, but he found none. "I'm home," she whispered. Without wasting another moment, Bellamy tentatively held her face and pressed their lips together, sealing the promise of a lifetime.

* * *

**So, this is it, you guys. TMIA is officially over. **

**I'll post an epilogue as soon as I can and I'll give you an insight into what happened with Clarke between Bellamy's visit and her return to Arkadia.**

**I want to thank to everyone who supported this story and who read it. But, most of all, I want to thank my dear, sweet, and awesome beta **_QueenOfHearthbreak_**. I'm so proud of calling you my friend. Go read her stories! She is an amazing writer.**

**As promised, I'll leave you the premise of my next story:**

_During confinement due to an outbreak of a new disease, Bellamy starts to notice his cute, new neighbor, in a different way._

**Yes, it will be a COVID-19 fanfiction. Yes, it will be a Bellarke. No, I won't approach hard subjects like abuse, depression, self-harm, etc. Yes, it will be cute (I hope).**

**I hope you read it **


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"I now pronounce husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Clarke clapped, watching the young couple share a soft kiss and a love-filled glance. The tears were running freely down her face, the emotion being too much to keep it down. Madi and her new husband turned back to their families and she instinctively searched for her parents. Clarke gave her a huge smile while Bellamy beamed with pride.

Madi had grown into a beautiful young woman. Her long hair, with thick brown curls, reached her waist, her blue eyes were glittering with happiness and her round face had more mature lines, but was still covered in light freckles. After seeing some pictures of Gina, Clarke had realized that Madi had inherited her mother's curves. However, Bellamy loved to say that Madi looked more like Clarke than she did with her late mother. Clarke would roll her eyes, but deep down, she loved to hear that.

Even though she had basically raised Madi for the last twenty years, sometimes she felt like she doesn't belong to her. Clarke always felt the need to look at the copy of the adoption certificate that proved that she was indeed Madi's mother. At least at the eyes of the law.

After Bellamy and she got married about a year after she came back to Arkadia, Madi started to call her mom. It was subtle, it slipped the first two or three times, but Clarke didn't make a big deal out of it, neither did Bellamy and Madi started to do it full time. But it was a big deal for her. She cried like a baby the first time her daughter did it and Bellamy had reassured her it was okay. Actually, it was more than okay because it didn't matter that Gina had carried and given birth to Madi. She was long gone and the young girl looked at Clarke as a mother figure in a way she didn't with Aurora or Octavia.

For the next couple of years, it felt right but somehow incomplete. Clarke acted like Madi's mother, she did whatever the other mothers did, but legally, she had no power over the girl. She couldn't even sign a damn permission slip. She never told her husband about her frustrations about it. But, like always, Bellamy just knew. So, on Clarke's birthday that year, Madi had presented her with a copy of the adoption certificate. Clarke would still have to sign it, but it was the meaning behind it that had broken Clarke into tears. It had been one of the happiest moments of her life, only made better when she discovered that she was pregnant a week later.

20 years, one happy marriage, four children, and a lifetime of happiness later, Clarke couldn't feel more grateful for her decision to come back.

When Bellamy had visited her at the clinic, she had freaked out. She had been so out of it with fear and worry that they had kept her heavily sedated for a couple of days. After she finally calmed down, her mother and stepfather paid her a visit. Kane explained everything that went down with Wells and Thelonious, reassured her that she was safe and she was free to do whatever she felt like.

Clarke had stared at him in confusion and he said they would give her as much time as she needed, but it had only taken her a week to decide. She loved Bellamy, she wanted to be with him. She wanted to be Madi's mother, watch and help her grow. She wanted ladies night with Octavia and Raven and game night with Miller and Jackson. She wanted the deep conversations with Becca and the weird chats with Murphy. She wanted Aurora fussing over her and Indra's wise advice. She wanted to go back to Arkadia. She wanted to go home.

But first, Clarke had to do something.

Kane had arranged it all and, the moment the sat in the private room of the prison, she started to panic. She could see him through the room's small window, walking down the long hallway and wondered if she had time to bolt. However, the time had run out and he was sitting next to her, a smug smile on his face. The anger that was bubbling under the surface blew up and she asked him everything.

She asked the whys. She asked the hows. She asked the whens. He answered them all with cryptic replies, which did nothing to bring her peace. For the first time in her life, Clarke could see how cold, empty and cruel Wells Jaha was and wondered how stupid she could've been. Then, she questioned him about _her_. Had he ruined _her_ life? Had he taken from Clarke who she thought - once upon a time - was the love of her life?

He had leaned back into the chair and smiled. That's all it took for Clarke to understand the answer. Lexa was dead and Wells was to blame.

She could feel it coming, the explosion, the screams, the tears, the anger bottled up inside of her. She took in his relaxed posture, arrogant smile and cold eyes. For a second, she could see him standing over her, in his perfect groomed suit, tailored just for him, emanating power. Then, she blinked and he was just a sad, arrogant, little man, in an orange jumpsuit, with metal cuffs on his wrists and ankles. Suddenly, after years, and years of abuse, he was nothing.

"I pity you," she said. Wells shifted in his seat, clearly not expecting her tone. "I have to go. I have a plane to catch." She didn't tell him where, but he could see it clearly in her eyes. Closing the door behind her and walking away, Clarke smiled. She couldn't wait to start her life with Bellamy and Madi.

That's how she ended up here. Watching her daughter - she had forgotten the adopted title decades ago - having the first dance with her husband.

Madi had met Luca in her senior year. He had just moved to Arkadia and it was love at first sight. They had gone to college together, where Madi became a psychologist. She claimed that she was just interested in the area, but Clarke knew her daughter too well. Both her mothers had dealt with depression and suicide. Clarke still had panic attacks until this day. Madi wanted to help people like them.

Bellamy had taken a while to accept that his baby girl was dating. He had cursed, stomped around, and moped for days. In the end, Luca conquered his heart by confessing he was a history nerd, just like his father-in-law. It had been a couple of good years until Madi announced she and Luca were moving in together. That was an all-new drama. The idea that Madi could be having sex was easily ignored when she had her own dorm room, but living with her boyfriend meant she was no longer a little girl in Bellamy's head. It was a new drama for him and, instead of being pissed, he was just depressed and cried whenever his eyes caught a picture of his daughter. After he came to terms with that, came the proposal and he had gone berserk. Not in a bad way. He just cried. A lot. That morning, Madi almost missed her own wedding because, as soon as her father saw her, he dissolved in tears and they couldn't get him to stop.

Jake, Roan, and Queenie jumped to the dance floor and pulled their oldest sister away from her new husband, and seeing them dancing brought tears to her eyes.

Jake was her oldest boy. He had just turned eighteen and ready to go to college. To everyone surprise, he had decided he wanted to be a lawyer, like his grandfather and godfather. However, the biggest influence in this decision had been Kane, who loved his step-grandson deeply. His sandy hair, deep blue eyes, and gentle temper reminded him of his late best friend and he had taken the boy under his wing.

Roan was the spitting image of his father but held his aunt's love for sports. That's why, at only sixteen years old, he was the star quarterback of high school, already being scouted to the top college teams in the country. However, Clarke knew her son was just like Bellamy: a history nerd. It wouldn't surprise her that he would choose to follow his father's footsteps as a history teacher, but Bellamy claimed he was destined to more than that and was certain that Roan's need for travel would take him to a more adventurous career.

Queenie had been a surprise. The couple had decided that they were done with kids. Three was the charm, but a few extra drinks on couple's night and a three positive pregnancy test later, they had come to terms their family would grow again. Aurora was over the moon. Apparently five grandchildren weren't enough - Octavia and Gabriel had two boys of their own - and she was excited to have another granddaughter to spoil. So, at the age of ten, Queenie was the light and joy of their family.

Clarke glanced down at the scars on her wrists, but a big, calloused hand grabbed her own and she looked up to see her husband smile. He tugged her and she allowed him to drag her to the dance floor. Sighing on his shoulder, a big smile on her face, Clarke couldn't help but be grateful that Bellamy found her on that night and stopped her from jumping.

That's the funny thing about fate. It hits you when you least expect. Sometimes it's rough and hard, other times leads you to the arms of someone who will take you just as you are.

* * *

**Here it is. The official ending.**

**I hope this epilogue gives you closure about Clarke, as you didn't get so read her POV in this story.**

**As always, I want to remind you that you should always review the stories. It's so sad when you post a story, have people add it, but you don't get their feedback. I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times: whenever you read a story and don't review it, a writer dies a little.**

**I also want to thank two very special persons: my amazing, extraordinary beta **_QueenofHeartbreak_, **who always has the time to read, correct and advise me, but who became a great friend and always makes sure to motivate me (Once again, GO READ HER STORIES! She is an amazing writer!); a big thank you to **_Booksbyem92,_** who ALWAYS takes the time to read my stories and give her honest and sweet opinion.**

**Before I finish, I wanna tell you something: _you are not alone_. If you are experiencing some sort of abuse, if are feeling alone, depressed, or suicidal, please contact the hotlines your country surely offers. Search for help and never give up. You are not to blame for your abuser's attitude and mental illness is no shame. If you feel like you can't contact the proper authorities, you can DM anytime and I'll try my best to help you. I don't care if I have to contact your government and demand that they do something. I will.**

**Finally, I'll be posting my new Bellarke soon. I hope you read it.**

**May we meet again.**

**Love,**

_Jane_


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